It was 12:00 am while I stayed in bed doing nothing on the name of studies but scanning the papers I found in my book. The atmosphere became serious in my room as I realized that it’s too late to start again the topic I decided to learn tonight. I scolded myself and got saddened by the fact that I have wasted my time of studies in reading some stuff which wasn’t going any where by tonight. I started to collect the papers and put them aside. Then I opened my books and tried to study even though I still wasn’t interested in them but somehow I tried to concentrate.
I didn’t took a look at them till 1:30 am which was really good. But somehow I left the control from my brain and decided to take a break because I have studied for an hour straightly and it was good (and funny too :D, because I do not usually do that). I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a minute. I was thinking about my future in medical line and imagining myself as a doctor who’s checking her patients in a private hospital and all that things which doctors do. ‘If I can’t be a doctor then I’ll be a lecturer in colleges’ was also a thought I got while staring at nowhere.
I sat and tried to make feel comfortable to back as I supported it with a pillow against the wall (heaven!). My hands automatically went to the book in which I have put those papers (not really automatically, but yeah it was an spontaneous act :D). I searched the papers I haven’t read yet and there were two of them. There were three poems left and I didn’t show my laziness to read them. Here they are-
O Damn You!
What’s going on in life
With you, without you..
You like the hell in my life,
You like the hell in my life..
I can’t forget you as much as I try,
I can do nothing, but cry..
The thing which is bore in my heart is your voice,
At that time I love to bore it as my choice..
The thing you showed me is your fake love,
Which holds my heart into new curves..
What’s going on in life,
With you, without you..!
O damn you, O damn you..!
The poem I found exactly below was something new for me. She told me it was for her parents. So here it is-
In the shadows of my life,
I want to spend my whole life..
I know my life doesn’t like the words ‘I love you’,
So I never say I love you,
I just say I want you..
I want all the memories of my life,
Which was gone from my life so fast, so fast..
I want to live life again in my past, past,
In my past..!
This one is one of my favorites I tell you. And the next one is also one of my favorites! HAHA I know have so many favorites but what do I do if I have a brain which is bruised!. Sorry :p here we go for another one. The last one! 😦
Comes in my dream..
I am in the prison of memories,
I request you to help me please..
There is so much darkness in this room,
I want to leave this magic broom..
This all comes in my dream,
This all comes in my dream..!
I collected all the papers after I finished reading and again lost in my own thoughts of ‘what is my life?’. It seems funny right? but we all have that thought and we seriously think about it really deeply. We want to make things happen in our own way but somehow it doesn’t happen all the time. These papers in front of me are the secrets of a girl which are explaining everything of her life, yet nothing about her. It’s weird, isn’t it?
Some of us relate to these poems and some of us don’t. But still we can understand the pain of a girl which you guys haven’t seen, never heard of, never even met. A completely unknown girl who is all in front of us will never be the same again if we look at her now. She was broken at that time, she forced herself to be unbroken and she became! But hardly anyone know that she isn’t only unbroken, she is a Warrior. Warrior of her life, warrior of her happiness, warrior to be what she want to be, warrior of every moment she lived for.
The amazing women we have in this world who aren’t living their lives in their own way but in their father’s, brother’s and husband’s way. I don’t know for how long does it goes like this, when males lead the way for females. I don’t know for how long this world won’t accept the fact that we women are never born to follow, we were born to lead the way of our lives and of our children. If you have got the responsibility to guide your child then we women have the equal right to guide our children because we have given birth to them, exactly.
You are thinking why have I changed the topic from poems to women empowerment? There won’t be any problem in girl’s life if we provide rights and respect to her. There won’t be anyone who commits suicide and end their lives with incomplete dreams. It’s not about only for girls, it’s also for boys who needs guidance, respect and equal rights.
Just give every single a thought and think about your younger ones and your children. Are they really living their lives or are afraid to tell you what they want? Are they really ready to face the world? Are they not enjoying their lives and are they afraid of facing their problems alone? Please try not to make any other person to commit suicide. It’s not good for me to know any news about suicides. I hope you also belongs to me this time.
LIVE AND LET LIVE is the only thing I want to say this time.