This is going to be a disaster!..
Hello readers! as I haven’t updated any post from six days! I have to be punished. So here I am writing about aunties which I don’t like at all. God has experimented on each and every aunt surviving on this planet that is why they all are different from each other. There’s no one left in this world who doesn’t relate to this post so just get ready for the roller coaster of life with “Aunties”.
1. The Leech.
Okay so these aunties will simply stick to you and suck your blood just like we have beautiful annelid, Leech. They will ask you about your day and your favorite hobbies and your ex girlfriend and your favorite boxers and your favorite sock and everything you could never imagine. Once you have told about yourself, they will try to make you do things they want you to do. Like – Son, make interest in study too it is really good for your future. Beta don’t go anywhere without telling your parents. Beta never betray anyone if they want to teach you something. Beta my uncle’s daughter’s husband’s son’s friend’s father’s son’s mother’s daughter went to america just by winning a lemon-spoon race and she settled there by marrying a butler. I’ll tell you later what’s lemon-spoon race.
2. The Vampire.
These are also blood sucking aunties (as usual). If your mummy’s favorite hobby is to tell her friends about your bad habits then they will also scold you for taking long baths. They will tell this to the other and to the another and to the another. Next day you will probably read a breaking news headline on paper- “Y/N takes so much long bath; that is why all the Nemo fishes are dying!”. And you will think of suicide (Do you? really?). Think of yourself bitten by a Vampire Aunt on your neck. Hahaha :p this is too good I’m enjoying!
3. The Sweet Devil.
They will look at you with the most lovable face but believe me they have stabbed you more than 100 times because you haven’t greeted them when they entered in the house. Because IT IS FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR SELF RESPECT!! why don’t you understand idiot! oh sorry here’s only one idiot, The Clever Idiot ;). They will complain later this to your parents with a pleasant way, I think you know the tone ;).
4. The Teacher.
They will scold you, shout on you, almost beaten you up. The shittiest person can ever be. They will scold you because you haven’t clean up the sofa to make place for them to sit. They will shout on you because you have increased the volume of T.V just to evade yourself to listen to their gossips. They will almost beaten you up because you have thrown a glass of water on them by MISTAKE. You can’t prove them it was by a mistake, well God Bless You.
5. The Caring One.
These are best ones. They will bring you some gifts and give you some when they leave the house. They never let you feel upset or bored. They will always care for you and treat you like their children. They will pull cheeks with all the strength and don’t stop if you don’t act like you’re dead. That’s all I can say about them.
6. The ‘I am too young!’.
They will never agree that they are old enough to call them ‘Aunt’. They never like it even if they have 15 kids. They are polite as hell and never speaks loud. They will just smile if you tell her a hilarious joke, no matter if you died laughing when you first heard it. You will be doubted about yourself if you’re normal or not after that incident. It happens my friend, it happens.
Okay that was all from me for Aunties! because there’s an endless list of types of them like I have some examples.
- The Serial Killer. (watches every damn show on T.V no matter how flop it is).
- The Slimmest woman in society. (She will be the fat one but never agrees it and always praise her slimness).
- The Confidential. (It’s always correct what I say so you should shut up and follow what I say).
- The flirt. (I don’t have to say anything more).
- The Cook. (She always burn her food and sends it to the every single house in the society so that she could eat ordered pizza plus get rid of that horrible dish).
- The Wedding Planner. (In your wedding I’ll buy that dress, I’ll dance more, when will you get married? Marry soon or you’ll get leftovers and so on).
I’m sure you have a story of handling an aunt at your home or in a party of anywhere you know. Share your story with me, umm it’s okay if you don’t want to. There’s no one forcing you.
Thanks A lot for Reading!