It was always the same.. and will be..

Yet another day, I am here confused like always about what to write. It’s been a while I haven’t done anything on my blogs or poems. There are two types of times we all have in our lives, first one is “Busy phase” and the other one is “Boring phase”. I was in the second one while I was updating and updating. But now life hit me with lots and lots of books and a coaching institute to prepare for NEET (National Eligibility Entrance Test) well it’s an exam of entrance in medical colleges. I am sooo fed up of them because last year I didn’t got admission and here comes this year, again. All I gain in 2016 is WEIGHT. Well I copied this line from a post I saw on Instagram, sigh.

I still don’t know what I am talking about, just sharing some thoughts running through my mind right now. I am upset deep down from my heart since few months but haven’t showed up to anyone, even to my best friends. I don’t know why but I don’t like to share my sad sides to anyone anymore because things will always be the same if I tell this to someone or not. My heart is not accepting to give up on myself. It has been a year since I left my drawings and artwork behind. It seems stupid to you guys but still I am sorry for sharing these shits to you.

‘It doesn’t matter to me and everything related to it is shit’ I always reply this to my family and friends when they show me some great artwork or some handmade stuff on internet or some magazines (whatever). I still make handmade gifts for my special ones but I try not like it because it will bring back my pain which I am trying to hide since one whole Fu**ing year. Anger, depression, sadness and tears, these 4 things have been there for me every time I received some happiness just like buy 1 get 4 free (haha). I cry when some sad song comes on T.V like a stupid a**hole hiding tears, but again never show storms waving in my heart.

Well….

Thanks for reading….

ghalib-urdu-shayari-bas-khatam-kar-baazi-e-ishq-ghalib-muqadar-ky-hary-kabhi-jeeta-nahi-karty

–xOx–

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13 thoughts on “It was always the same.. and will be..

  1. I’m not saying you shouldn’t write about it. Rant about it all you want. Let it out. Don’t keep it in. It’ll make matters worse. Discuss your situation with people. But at the same time try to improve. Okay? Don’t just keep doing things the way you’re doing them. Improve. Try thinking positive. And if you try writing positive things and ways to cope with stress and what you’re going through then it’ll be helpful for other girls and boys who are facing similar situations. Write a post about how to deal with life when you’re not getting an admission or something like that. And take your mind off the fact that people don’t care how much you’re doing and how much you’ve achieved. I’m sure your parents know and they are proud that their daughter is giving it her best. Stop thinking about others. Let your success at the end of the day speak for itself. One day when you’ll be in a good college or university Insha’Allah then people would definitely talk about it and appreciate you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Achha sorry 😔. And thanks yeah i should seriously do it. But you know when we feel so strong the need of our dreams to come true sometimes but it doesn’t matter to the people in front of you so you end up losing once again. Ok I’ll try to kill these thoughts. I just thought man halka ho jaega likh kar.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ‘chipka diya’ is not a good way of putting it :p khair keep up the good work. Give it your best. It doesn’t matter if you have to leave your other passions for some time. You can always start doing them again. Focus on the job at hand. Cut down on crying and especially swearing. Get closer to Allah. Pray and recite regularly. Life eventually gets better. Stay strong sister.

    Liked by 1 person

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