Yes I am not okay.

I stay quite,

Because i want to be.

I feel useless to talk in front of you all,

Because all you people see my emotions as “anger”.

I tried to make up things,

but you ruined them everytime.

You ask, why I am so upset?

Little did you know, you’re the only reason . 

Your mindset, your ego, your arrogance,

I am done with it but I should not be.

You do some unnecessary shits,

And praise them for God knows what reasons.

You say, you are so irritating,

Yes, I am… because you never tried to know what my heart belongs to.

You do what your fucking mind says,

But now it’s out of my level of peace.

I won’t be able to handle your shitty decisions,

Pardon me darling, you’re not going to lead on my way.

You said, I am changing,

YES I HAVE… atleast you noticed a thing. 

                                –xOx

How to make people laugh at your shitty talks.

 

So I was going through some posts on my feed and found nothing amusing. So I decided to write one for all of you. Well as always I say I am here to entertain people with my stupid blogs, yeah I don’t post much since few weeks or you can say months. But here I am again ready to eat your brains! Just kidding I don’t eat them at all.

I like to crack jokes in gatherings and love to make people laugh. But if someone don’t laugh at my jokes, I feel bad for them. As I titled this post ‘How to be funnier..’ so let’s write some points that can help you through this.

  • Be carefree. Don’t care what impact will it leave on people’s mind just say whatever you want to say if it seems funny to you but it’s a different thing if you include some sexual things in it. Stay away from it if you really don’t want to create a weird scene.
  • Be careful. Yeah really, don’t say things which don’t suite the scene. Well it depends on the situations and remember don’t be too bold to say anything which can hurt the guy in front. Like if he is fat and laughing a lot at your jokes and you say a thing like -“Your head looks like a boiled octopus to me!”. He may punch you hard (haha I would love that!)
  • Laugh at your own jokes. Not too much because then you will look a dying seal if you talk and laugh at the same time.
  • Not in mood. I know what it takes to laugh if you are sad or upset. But if you kinda resemble with me, I like to make people at least smile if they are feeling bad no matter how bad is my mood. I sometimes be a melo-drama in front of those homo sapiens. If I am seriously really disturbed then I walk away and don’t try to make an effort. I am what I am.
  • Insult. That’s my favorite part!  knows it really well. Insult your friends! YEAAH! tell them they are ugly as nothing on this planet! God is taking revenge from you that he sent them in your life because once you stole a half pencil from an unknown bag! Weird pet names can help you much! and they look like Kamal R.Khan when they wear glasses. You don’t know who is he? Then I believe you are having an actual life depression.*Sympathy from me*

krk-story_650_020615050028

That’s him ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yeah. I am sorry I can’t believe I have to see this in my posts I am just kind of realizing how my life can turn to worst in a second.

  • Timing. It’s the most important thing to be funnier. If you don’t have it I have to say this ‘I feel sorry for you’ :'(. I mean really, I have seen people who say their thing when the topic is over 2 hours ago.
  • Copy and paste of Dialogues. If you have seen a really funny movie and you find some dialogues hilarious, why don’t use them in front of people? For example- “Are maharaj! Tumare gurde kyu chhil rahe hain?” (Hey King! Why your kidneys are getting peeled off?) It means JEALOUSY in short if you didn’t got what I tried to say. Another example- “Khopdi tod saaale ka!” (Break the skull of that bastard!).. and so on.

Being funny is not difficult! just be yourself in a quirky way and make positive vibes every where you meet anyone. Spread Love, spread peace, treat everyone equally :p (stole that line from somewhere I won’t tell). And the only rule I want you guys to follow is:-

RACISM

No one deserves this ever.

-xOx-

Hi Readers!

I hope you liked this one so please leave comments about your funny and failed-to-make-laugh stories! I would be glad.

And yes if you guys need any classes for how to insult people you can find me on Instagram as @cleveridiot.nisha97 and if you don’t believe it, ask from Sumit I mentioned his website above. Keep practicing for being weird and refuse to be a dying seal. And yeah I liked that Boiled octopus punch haha! I may try this on someone at least once in my life time! 😀 😀

And if you still don’t know who is Kamal R.Khan then please let me know I would seriously write a motivational post for you.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

If I will Die..

If I will die,

Tell my friends I never lied.

I was being loyal to them-

And was ashamed of my mistakes.

If I will die,

Tell my family I wasn’t always the worst.

I tried my best to give my bestest-

But somehow I ended up bruising their expectations.

If I will die,

Tell my love that I still love him.

I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough-

To make it through the worst.

If I will die,

Tell this world I was just a tiny dreamer.

Fought with herself every time she got down,

Just to paint her own star in emerald green-

Besides wasn’t aware of infinite meteors.

 

–xOx–

 

15 Reasons My parents feel I’m a Mistake..

Well sometimes I can also feel that!

Hello people,

Sorry I wasn’t here from 10 days-ooo that’s a long long time I mean like ages ago- Here I am now writing about some extremely relatable situations and reasons where my parents feel I am their mistake. Haha I’m so precious in reality.

Imagine yourself tied with ropes on vertically on an iron rod. Having some spices and lemon rubbed on your body just above the fire and seeing your mom and dad rolling it. If you can imagine this, you are the perfect one here to read this below. Parents love you a lot but sometimes you automatically make them feel that caption above. Lett’s do some work and let me explain everything to you:-

  1. When I break something important piece which is related to their lives. Example: I broke a stick which was thin as straw and it was related to my mom’s ancestors and it has been saved from 1000 years. Nothing but a piece of shit in my home. For God’s sake it’s just a piece of wood I mean…. I am not going to be a chicken for breaking that freaking piece of stick!
  2. When I eat like a monkey because I was hungry as hell, and my mom looks at me like pathetic bloody abnormal and give expressions you know how.
  3. When I say a joke in front of them and nothing changes but their state of mind.
  4. When I take part in some stuff in school’s function and come back with a participation certificate. lol 😀
  5. When I try to study and after 5 minutes they notice me sleeping like a dinosaur.
  6. When I am totally into my phone and the worst part is, I am smiling.
  7. When my dad’s friend’s son’s classmate topped in school with 99.99% marks.
  8. When I do some house work and end up scattering more stuff and increasing the effort.
  9. When I go to shopping for grocery and take 5 extra stickers just for no reason.
  10. When my friend visit and talks about her habits of studying 18 hours a day and cooking delicious food to my mom. (the devil is on the edge now)
  11. When I play games with kids like pillow fight but hit them hard without any intention.
  12.  When I teach an infant some bad habits like picking their noses with both hands.
  13. When I want to give a throw something to my mom to catch it and she refused to do it, but apparently it goes in different direction so… commentator screams from the T.V – “AND IT’S A WIDE BALL!”.
  14. When I play a movie to watch with parents and tell them it’s a family film but somehow my fate kicks me and the film shows bad scenes (you know what I mean :p).
  15. When I urge to help her in taking lamps to the other room and she warned me to be careful, and I accidentally drop them. Million pieces of the lamp, million pieces of my body, following that chilly looks in her eyes. Like lamp, like Nisha. RIP to me.

Yoho guys. I hope you guys liked it and please do not forget to comment your ugly situations! would love to see them. Let me know if it was relatable.

Thanks A lot for Reading! 

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

21 situations when a girl feels exhausted!

Hello readers!! hahah oh god I just love this topic and I know this is going to be a really adventurous one. I don’t know how many girls would like these facts or not at all 😀 :D.

WARNING. There’s no intention of hurting someone in this one and if you feel something is wrong then you are like someone ‘Beetle brain’. I mean this is reality because this happens to every single girl existing in this planet.

Let’s do this [I’m excited! yayyyy!]:-

Times when girls feel pissed off.

  1. When some other girl wears the same T-shirt, ear-ring, hair band, nose pin etc. No matter how tiniest is it I feel exasperated just because of that bloody similar particular stuff.
  2. When my crush talks to my enemy.
  3. When my hairs get disastrous after a bike ride.
  4. When my eyeliner goes like this –ee
  5. When I take a selfie but the results seems to be something else, like-84599655
  6. When I am hungry as hell but the crush comes to me and he’s like,”Hey are you hungry? I don’t know how people can eat three times a day!”. And I’m like,”Yes me either! I don’t understand these people”. DUHH.
  7. When kids kick me but I can’t say anything because their mother is in front of me talking about Sasural Simar Ka.
  8. When I dance in front of someone I think I look like Madhuri Dixit but actually I look like Sunny Deol and they don’t even hesitate to tell me that (I dance like Sunny Deol).
  9. When some guests are at home and asks me about my studies.
  10. When I eat Gol Gappe and some hot guy crosses by looking at me and my face is like swollen cheeks and hard to chew that Gappa! because it was huge as hell!
  11. When my mom shout at me to clean my bed which doesn’t looks like a bed but a pyramid made up of my stuff.
  12. When I say a joke but no one laughs at all.
  13. When I answer a question in class but it does not relate to the topic which was discussing in class. So my teacher’s like- sereal-guy-meme-photo
  14. When my friend wants me to “Guess What!?”, and they actually want me to guess, WHAT!?
  15. When I think that guy likes me but the other day he’s like,”Sister, can I borrow your notes? I was thinking to talk to you from a week but..” and the worst part is he’s handsome. AAUUGHHH!
  16. When I eat in front of my mom but the sauce come out from the side of my mouth. Her expression is … well.. this-                                                     40ef900b217cd78778f54442d4167285
  17. When my parents expect 95% marks from me and the day before exam I am like “Better start studying now”.
  18. When my friends think I am a party animal but the reality comes when my mom calls me at 6:30 and says- “kahan mar gayi tere papa aa gaye hain jaldi aa!” (Where the hell are you dying your papa has arrived get over here now!). And I leave the place like ‘Oh sorry guys I’m not well today hehe..aa..better catch you tomorrow?’.
  19. When my favorite dress gets so-much-tight-that-I-can’t-breathe!
  20. When my ex-boyfriend appears suddenly and I had to run like this just because I don’t want him to see me-                                        screen-shot-2013-09-12-at-7-57-46-am
  21. When my parents scold me for using my phone 24/7 and after a minute they are like 9d5f2ab86d64e65761ae9341e8081baa

Oh well this is great isn’t it? I love facing reality because it ruins my life!!!!!!! Well people, if you think something is left then you can add it in comments! That was all from me and now I am waiting for you guys to rain your comments below I’d love to see them. 

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

a.k.a Nisha

Times When I use my Phone..

Hello people out there having a fantastic life with wordpress! umm well I wasn’t here since six days and the beautiful month of Ramadan has just begun so it’s quite good feeling today. After a long time I have came to this point to write about the times I use my phone for no reason. Just scroll, scroll, scroll, like, scroll, like, scroll, scroll, comment, like, scroll, refresh and scroll to the infinity. There’s nothing much we do in our free times with our phones and I think you’re also familiar with that. Let me tell you some of the scenes related to my life.

  1. When I’m bored. I go through the pictures on pinterest, listen to One Direction’s songs, watch online videos of youtubers, download songs, read on wordpress, etc. Knowing that it will never make out the mess on my bed which is resting there from 2 days.
  2. When I’m happy. I go through the pictures on pinterest, listen to One Direction’s songs, watch online videos of youtubers, download songs, read, like and comment on wordpress, etc. Knowing that it will never bring me pizza, a party pack cold drink and my friends to celebrate the happiness.
  3. When I’m sad. I go through the pictures on pinterest, listen to One Direction’s songs, watch online videos of youtubers, download songs, read on wordpress, etc. It’s kind of relieving thing to divert my mind from the shit happened to me.
  4. When I’m on toilet seat. SAME. I scroll, scroll, like, scroll………… and pass my one hour just for doing nothing but shit. I mean passing my one hour just doing nothing! it’s a second thing if you ask me to mention about the place and that’s not what we are talking about. (HAHAH oh god I’m embarassing myself.)
  5. When I’m watching T.V. SAME. I chat with friends if I’m interested otherwise, scroll, scroll, like…………infinity. I watch 50% of the movie and the other 50% of the latest posts. Is it just me or you’re also that idiot?
  6. When I’m having a shower. *sings**sings*.. my phone beeped. Jumped on my phone to check if it’s a notification. End up seeing a Candy Crush invite…. I think my life should end now because this is really RIDICULOUS! that leads to the highest anger of mine. Gawd! ..
  7. When I’m eating.
  8. When I’m at someone’s house.
  9. When I’m talking to my friend.
  10. When I’m exercising.
  11. When I’m walking.
  12. When it’s 12:00 on New Year.
  13. When I’m travelling.
  14. On the day of my wedding (maybe, I think probably).
  15. When I’m sleeping.
  16. When I’m awake.
  17. When I’m watching a 1D concert (ON PHONE! *cries*).
  18. When I’m at a party.
  19. When I’m celebrating my Birthday.
  20. When I’m dying.

I thought I don’t have to explain all of them. If you belong to me, this is the bestest part of of your existence. Well that was all from me, if you have any other place where you use your phone then share it with me!

Thanks A lot for Reading!

PROUD to be Yourself…

“Don’t wait until you have reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take towards reaching that goal.”

If you haven’t heard it yet, let me tell you. I’M PROUD OF YOU! For everything you have done to reach here, For every single moment where you have made yourself strong, for every night you cried and suffered through those hardest shits, for every smile you maintain to pass it to someone, and for EVERY thing that I have forgot to mention here. :p I’m sorry about that.. So, this one was my words for you by deep down my heart believe it or not. But there’s also something you should be proud of yourself.

I am going to tell you some reasons you should be proud about yourself. So tighten your seat belts and just go on and read.

1. Proud to be what and whoever you are. There are a lot of people like you on this earth who think that I don’t have a perfect body shape or I don’t like my complexion or I can’t study like other students in my class or I can’t sing or whatever is it. Remember one thing, you are far far and far better than them in the subject you love. You are that great ‘someone‘ that they can never be like even into their wildest dreams.. ~and we danced all night to the best song everrr!~..Oops I’m sorry about that. Maybe you are a musician, maybe you have prettier eyes, maybe you have the biggest heart, maybe you care for people, maybe you can write very well and maybe you listen to your heart, maybe you can eat more fries, maybe you do things behind closed doors not showing to anyone, maybe you know what most of the people don’t know. You are what they are not. Proud to be who you are. Because you are one of a kind.

2. Proud to be born this way. Let me tell you something about myself, I’m a fat girl and I know that very well. I never weigh myself because I know the results will be horrible! And the most important part, I am proud that I have a body like this. I don’t know why! But I love myself having chubby chicks. How stupid this is no?.. But it is important for me. I am what I am and if someone judges me about my body I just listen to them to make sure that they are getting importance. And when they get lost.. I forget that every single thing they have said to me. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THE NEGATIVES. Love yourself dude!

3. Don’t be proud on everything you do. It’s okay to feel proud about yourself and the stuff you do but it’s not necessary to feel it for everything. Like you beaten up someone without any reason, you passed exam with cheating, you abused animals or any person, and you bullied someone and whatever it is bad and negative. I’m saying this to you because pride comes before fall. Mind it! Yanna rascala..

4. I’m proud to be different; it’s the best thing about me. Is there anything left to say? To explain? Is it? Then let me know about it. Have you ever seen someone who is handicapped or with any disability? I don’t think there are stronger people than those who face problems every morning they wake and every night they sleep. I really LOVE those people and really, I RESPECT them with depth of my heart. Our problems are nothing if we compare them to the angels’ living in this world with their disabilities. You’ve got to learn so much from them and serve respect to those people. And you never know which deed of yours’ God loves the most.

5. YOU ARE AMAZING!. Believe it or not. It’s a truth of the day. Wait, what you said? Why am I amazing? Yeah ok let me tell you. You read this whoooooooole thing and still reading and pretending that I’ll tell you why you are amazing. You are not that stupid right. How can I know what is your passion? If you have any passion then you are AMAZING and if you don’t have any, then you’re still amazing.. I don’t know why.. just amazing..

I’m so confusing right? I know. Passions are really a gift from God to us. It’s a big thing which describes us the best way. I have my passion, you have yours. So let’s change the world with our own colors and thoughts. I know it’s a dramatic line but at least think about it. This is the right time to show what we are and I know that world is gonna accept it in a humble way. The future is waiting for you and your success will lead you to the best, you could ever have been.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

(=xoxo=)

-The Clever Idiot a.k.a Nisha