How to make people laugh at your shitty talks.

 

So I was going through some posts on my feed and found nothing amusing. So I decided to write one for all of you. Well as always I say I am here to entertain people with my stupid blogs, yeah I don’t post much since few weeks or you can say months. But here I am again ready to eat your brains! Just kidding I don’t eat them at all.

I like to crack jokes in gatherings and love to make people laugh. But if someone don’t laugh at my jokes, I feel bad for them. As I titled this post ‘How to be funnier..’ so let’s write some points that can help you through this.

  • Be carefree. Don’t care what impact will it leave on people’s mind just say whatever you want to say if it seems funny to you but it’s a different thing if you include some sexual things in it. Stay away from it if you really don’t want to create a weird scene.
  • Be careful. Yeah really, don’t say things which don’t suite the scene. Well it depends on the situations and remember don’t be too bold to say anything which can hurt the guy in front. Like if he is fat and laughing a lot at your jokes and you say a thing like -“Your head looks like a boiled octopus to me!”. He may punch you hard (haha I would love that!)
  • Laugh at your own jokes. Not too much because then you will look a dying seal if you talk and laugh at the same time.
  • Not in mood. I know what it takes to laugh if you are sad or upset. But if you kinda resemble with me, I like to make people at least smile if they are feeling bad no matter how bad is my mood. I sometimes be a melo-drama in front of those homo sapiens. If I am seriously really disturbed then I walk away and don’t try to make an effort. I am what I am.
  • Insult. That’s my favorite part!  knows it really well. Insult your friends! YEAAH! tell them they are ugly as nothing on this planet! God is taking revenge from you that he sent them in your life because once you stole a half pencil from an unknown bag! Weird pet names can help you much! and they look like Kamal R.Khan when they wear glasses. You don’t know who is he? Then I believe you are having an actual life depression.*Sympathy from me*

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That’s him ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yeah. I am sorry I can’t believe I have to see this in my posts I am just kind of realizing how my life can turn to worst in a second.

  • Timing. It’s the most important thing to be funnier. If you don’t have it I have to say this ‘I feel sorry for you’ :'(. I mean really, I have seen people who say their thing when the topic is over 2 hours ago.
  • Copy and paste of Dialogues. If you have seen a really funny movie and you find some dialogues hilarious, why don’t use them in front of people? For example- “Are maharaj! Tumare gurde kyu chhil rahe hain?” (Hey King! Why your kidneys are getting peeled off?) It means JEALOUSY in short if you didn’t got what I tried to say. Another example- “Khopdi tod saaale ka!” (Break the skull of that bastard!).. and so on.

Being funny is not difficult! just be yourself in a quirky way and make positive vibes every where you meet anyone. Spread Love, spread peace, treat everyone equally :p (stole that line from somewhere I won’t tell). And the only rule I want you guys to follow is:-

RACISM

No one deserves this ever.

-xOx-

Hi Readers!

I hope you liked this one so please leave comments about your funny and failed-to-make-laugh stories! I would be glad.

And yes if you guys need any classes for how to insult people you can find me on Instagram as @cleveridiot.nisha97 and if you don’t believe it, ask from Sumit I mentioned his website above. Keep practicing for being weird and refuse to be a dying seal. And yeah I liked that Boiled octopus punch haha! I may try this on someone at least once in my life time! 😀 😀

And if you still don’t know who is Kamal R.Khan then please let me know I would seriously write a motivational post for you.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

10 things a girl actually wants..

There were so many great scientists who came and gone and discovered uncommon and phenomenal things which we learn and literally write about them in our exam sheets. They had different minds which imagined some unusual things. But my heart is aching just because there is no one born who could tell us about ‘What a girl really wants’. As I was thinking about this topic, I came through some points which forced me to write them here. Let’s get started.

1.DISCOUNT. Ehm ehm, so basically I am a girl and I can’t understand even myself. I mean why? Why I need discount in everything I buy and I don’t care if I buy a t-shirt that have 70% discount already and I go to shopkeeper and ask quietly if he can give me some more of discount on it. He gives a look like I have asked for his kidney! I hope he won’t do it for iPhone 7 as well.

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2.12 AM birthday wishes. If I receive 200 wishes at 12 AM from my loved ones and only 1 friend is left to wish, I feel like hell I mean ‘Did he forgot my birthday?’, ‘Am I not important for him anymore?’,’Maybe he is sleeping.’,’But why! I won’t talk to him ever, aaughh!’.. Seriously I am that stupid.

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3.Laughs. Again I am repeating this one because it is as stupid as Mr. bean! If I tell you a joke then just laugh, I said laugh! L.A.U.G.H. laaauughhh!

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4.Appreciation. If I make horrible food and I know that, but I still expect that the person in front will say at least something positive about it, but literally they don’t… Another thing is if I wear a new outfit and look weird, I need some ‘You’re looking beautiful!’ kind of reviews about me. Seriously I am that idiot. Did I said that again? uhh.

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5.Slim-trim comments. When I am getting fat, (Well I am already) but more fat. And I know that. but. every time I wear a new dress and it’s so-tight-I-can’t-breath I want some suggestions as same as always, GOOD! BEAUTIFUL! GOD HAS MADE YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE! maa ki aankh. (you can translate it if you want too 😉 :p)

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6.Perfect Selfie. I don’t care if it will take 999999 takes to get a perfect selfie, I will still click-click-click-click-click. (Mention the amount in words in comment section).

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7.Street Food Without FAT. well I don’t wanna change the taste but yeah it has to be fat free just because I want that to be. Don’t mess with me! Bhai Gol Gappe mast bane hain.

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8.1 Woman Man. If you can’t stop flirting with other girls, stay away if you don’t want to change your looks! yet it’s not funny thing so. Mind it Rascala!

9.Attention. Am I getting serious now? But sometimes this thing gets really awkward I mean if I am chatting in whatsapp or any other group of people, if for a second my opinion is ignored then I want to hit everyone in their faces and shout out loud whatever I want to say. But yeah it can happen to everyone else, soo I am not alone in this universe.

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10.MAKE-UP. Whyyy!! what on earth did invented this amazingly shitty thing!! I mean seriously, girls are so obsessed these days with make up that they can’t even survive without it. Absolutely I have no idea what would be the scene in 2020s about it. I just don’t understand when girls will learn to live natural….

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-xOx-

Okay so I finish it here now. I hope I bring a small tiny piny smile on your gorgeous and literally without make-up faces haha! well jokes apart, I want to tell something in extra and important stuff to you.

  • No matter what kind of a girl there is, the only thing she wants is CARE. We girls have sensitive hearts so we need care just like more of that I guess.
  • If you know a girl who wears much make up just tell her that she is beautiful without it and there’s no need to put on it in extra amount. She will say ‘I love you’ in return trust me.
  • So basically we girls need is care, that is why some show tantrums but never say what they want. Some fight, be a bitch, or whatever it is. Just be with her, tell her she is beautiful and let her chase what she wants.
  • But don’t leave her alone because still, GIRLS ARE AS STUPID AS NOTHING ON THIS PLANET.

Please comment your views about it and let me know what kind of things a girl really wants. Obviously I haven’t wrote everything but some of them. Share your thoughts and give it a star if you think it’s worth it. Thank you Mr. Obama you helped me through this! 

Picture credit- Google bhaisab.

Keep Smiling-Love memes,

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

 

56 Things you feel when in a Relationship..

Hello Amazing people!

Was wondering if no one was alone in this world how beautiful that would be, no? But sometimes being alone is the only thing we need in our lives. No matter what, how, why, but Love is the most amazing feeling we have in our journey. It comes in lots of ways like the very first love we receive is from our Mothers (awww ^_^). There are many forms of love like friendship love, family love, partner’s love, fake love (No place for it here anyway), celebrity love, crush love, gadgets love, hobbies love and so on.

Let’s stick to the topic otherwise I will keep rubbishing words out. Here we go!

56 Things you feel when in a Relationship-

  1. Loved. Whatever comes to your way that person will stick to you and be your armor. Nothing can replace this feeling ever in your lifetime.
  2. Important. As that person makes you feel like that. You are with the perfect one if he/she does.
  3. Lucky. Being with them and not able to feel alone when they aren’t around you because you are so happy to have them as a part of your life that you just can’t be sad. (The same happens to me ;)).
  4. Protected. It comes when you hug them and feel the entire world of yours exist in their arms. It happens really!
  5. Easy. Problems just fuuush away when you share things with them.
  6. Addicted. To their essence.
  7. Blissful. When they are around you and do something stupid all over the place.
  8. Crazy. About their little things.
  9. Jealousy. When they talk to someone else.
  10. Fondness. Of holding them close when you feel upset.
  11. Hurt. When you have a fight.
  12. Scared. Of losing them.
  13. Happy. for their achievements and all.
  14. Blessed. for having them in your life.
  15. Thankful. for every thing they do.
  16. Understandings. wow…
  17. Free. IF you are with the perfect partner, no one can stop you for doing what you want. Trust me.
  18. Accepted. No matter what shit you do everyday, that person just won’t complaint and appreciate the things you do.
  19. Confident. About their tasks with you and without you.
  20. Courageous. You will spontaneously be like that if you both have great bonds.
  21. Eager. To get them into your life for ever.
  22. Fulfilled. Almost no voids left anymore in your life.
  23. Worried. When they don’t message or give a call.
  24. Intimate. Mmmmmm.. hihi :p
  25. Inspired. From their works.
  26. Interested. In their hobbies, seriously you will get involved in their favorite hobbies and make it your own. Aw 🙂
  27. Mad. Eventually at certain things.
  28. Open. In front of them you won’t feel restricted. But that’s a different thing if you feel nervous. O! I got a new one also :D.
  29. Nervous. Because you feel butterflies in your stomach and maybe something else….
  30. Strong. Just being with them and spending time will heal you with great results. Yeah really..
  31. Good. Nothing else to say.
  32. Proud. To have them in your limited life.
  33. Respected. That’s the best part about being in a real relationship.
  34. Startled. When your partner do something crazy for you.
  35. Excited. When they your special days more special. aw.
  36. Uncontrolled. When it comes to love, no restrictions anyway.
  37. Alive. It’s good sign, otherwise some girls are really weird :D. uh I am not weird.
  38. Carefree. Of your body shape, color or whatever. If it’s right, it’s RIGHT.
  39. Groovy. Sweet!
  40. Blah. yeah. When you’re talking some rubbishes.
  41. Blushes. Aww that is soo kiyooooot! (cute)
  42. Aww. Am I saying it a lot??? Ah never mind.
  43. Kind. With response of what your partner does.
  44. Complete. No there’s 12 more left. Just kiddin’! 
  45. Drama. Aw baby haven’t you ate lunch yet? Aw baby you look so cute in blue! and so on.
  46. Be-you-tiful. Hmmm I mean it.
  47. Never Enough. Everytime you meet them it’s just never enough.
  48. Eternal. together forever ^_^
  49. Trust. no need to explain.
  50. Promises. Fragile part of your relationship.
  51. Encouraged. And it also make you feel happy and strong.
  52. Stupid. That how can a person love someone so much?
  53. Generous. 
  54. Hope. That you will survive and won’t give up.
  55. Comfortable. per-fect.
  56. Romantic. 

Ooooo it finished? Thank God. My fingers were about to burst 😀 😀

No I was joking. I love writing, Yayy! Well shits apart please don’t forget to comment your views and give it a star if you think it was so! 

Thanks A lor for Reading!

 

15 Reasons My parents feel I’m a Mistake..

Well sometimes I can also feel that!

Hello people,

Sorry I wasn’t here from 10 days-ooo that’s a long long time I mean like ages ago- Here I am now writing about some extremely relatable situations and reasons where my parents feel I am their mistake. Haha I’m so precious in reality.

Imagine yourself tied with ropes on vertically on an iron rod. Having some spices and lemon rubbed on your body just above the fire and seeing your mom and dad rolling it. If you can imagine this, you are the perfect one here to read this below. Parents love you a lot but sometimes you automatically make them feel that caption above. Lett’s do some work and let me explain everything to you:-

  1. When I break something important piece which is related to their lives. Example: I broke a stick which was thin as straw and it was related to my mom’s ancestors and it has been saved from 1000 years. Nothing but a piece of shit in my home. For God’s sake it’s just a piece of wood I mean…. I am not going to be a chicken for breaking that freaking piece of stick!
  2. When I eat like a monkey because I was hungry as hell, and my mom looks at me like pathetic bloody abnormal and give expressions you know how.
  3. When I say a joke in front of them and nothing changes but their state of mind.
  4. When I take part in some stuff in school’s function and come back with a participation certificate. lol 😀
  5. When I try to study and after 5 minutes they notice me sleeping like a dinosaur.
  6. When I am totally into my phone and the worst part is, I am smiling.
  7. When my dad’s friend’s son’s classmate topped in school with 99.99% marks.
  8. When I do some house work and end up scattering more stuff and increasing the effort.
  9. When I go to shopping for grocery and take 5 extra stickers just for no reason.
  10. When my friend visit and talks about her habits of studying 18 hours a day and cooking delicious food to my mom. (the devil is on the edge now)
  11. When I play games with kids like pillow fight but hit them hard without any intention.
  12.  When I teach an infant some bad habits like picking their noses with both hands.
  13. When I want to give a throw something to my mom to catch it and she refused to do it, but apparently it goes in different direction so… commentator screams from the T.V – “AND IT’S A WIDE BALL!”.
  14. When I play a movie to watch with parents and tell them it’s a family film but somehow my fate kicks me and the film shows bad scenes (you know what I mean :p).
  15. When I urge to help her in taking lamps to the other room and she warned me to be careful, and I accidentally drop them. Million pieces of the lamp, million pieces of my body, following that chilly looks in her eyes. Like lamp, like Nisha. RIP to me.

Yoho guys. I hope you guys liked it and please do not forget to comment your ugly situations! would love to see them. Let me know if it was relatable.

Thanks A lot for Reading! 

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

21 situations when a girl feels exhausted!

Hello readers!! hahah oh god I just love this topic and I know this is going to be a really adventurous one. I don’t know how many girls would like these facts or not at all 😀 :D.

WARNING. There’s no intention of hurting someone in this one and if you feel something is wrong then you are like someone ‘Beetle brain’. I mean this is reality because this happens to every single girl existing in this planet.

Let’s do this [I’m excited! yayyyy!]:-

Times when girls feel pissed off.

  1. When some other girl wears the same T-shirt, ear-ring, hair band, nose pin etc. No matter how tiniest is it I feel exasperated just because of that bloody similar particular stuff.
  2. When my crush talks to my enemy.
  3. When my hairs get disastrous after a bike ride.
  4. When my eyeliner goes like this –ee
  5. When I take a selfie but the results seems to be something else, like-84599655
  6. When I am hungry as hell but the crush comes to me and he’s like,”Hey are you hungry? I don’t know how people can eat three times a day!”. And I’m like,”Yes me either! I don’t understand these people”. DUHH.
  7. When kids kick me but I can’t say anything because their mother is in front of me talking about Sasural Simar Ka.
  8. When I dance in front of someone I think I look like Madhuri Dixit but actually I look like Sunny Deol and they don’t even hesitate to tell me that (I dance like Sunny Deol).
  9. When some guests are at home and asks me about my studies.
  10. When I eat Gol Gappe and some hot guy crosses by looking at me and my face is like swollen cheeks and hard to chew that Gappa! because it was huge as hell!
  11. When my mom shout at me to clean my bed which doesn’t looks like a bed but a pyramid made up of my stuff.
  12. When I say a joke but no one laughs at all.
  13. When I answer a question in class but it does not relate to the topic which was discussing in class. So my teacher’s like- sereal-guy-meme-photo
  14. When my friend wants me to “Guess What!?”, and they actually want me to guess, WHAT!?
  15. When I think that guy likes me but the other day he’s like,”Sister, can I borrow your notes? I was thinking to talk to you from a week but..” and the worst part is he’s handsome. AAUUGHHH!
  16. When I eat in front of my mom but the sauce come out from the side of my mouth. Her expression is … well.. this-                                                     40ef900b217cd78778f54442d4167285
  17. When my parents expect 95% marks from me and the day before exam I am like “Better start studying now”.
  18. When my friends think I am a party animal but the reality comes when my mom calls me at 6:30 and says- “kahan mar gayi tere papa aa gaye hain jaldi aa!” (Where the hell are you dying your papa has arrived get over here now!). And I leave the place like ‘Oh sorry guys I’m not well today hehe..aa..better catch you tomorrow?’.
  19. When my favorite dress gets so-much-tight-that-I-can’t-breathe!
  20. When my ex-boyfriend appears suddenly and I had to run like this just because I don’t want him to see me-                                        screen-shot-2013-09-12-at-7-57-46-am
  21. When my parents scold me for using my phone 24/7 and after a minute they are like 9d5f2ab86d64e65761ae9341e8081baa

Oh well this is great isn’t it? I love facing reality because it ruins my life!!!!!!! Well people, if you think something is left then you can add it in comments! That was all from me and now I am waiting for you guys to rain your comments below I’d love to see them. 

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

a.k.a Nisha