What to do when you see someone you love, in Depression.

It’s been a long time since I have posted here. Yeah all bloggers write this when they come back I know. The viewers are already aware that you didn’t posted anything so just shut up and do what ever you are here for!

So, today we are going to discuss about some of my issues. I don’t know why this affects me so much that a person who is close to me, when he or she talks to someone else, it pisses me off. Like really, i don’t have you in my life for sharing you with some one else. So, STFU.

I know it’s quiet possessive but yeah that’s me. Actually the thing is, I have recently created a good bond with my teacher. He shares everything of his life and I too, share a bit. Seeing someone in depression kills my soul quietly. So, I did tried to make him feel good because some way serious shit happened to him a couple of months ago.

I have been in tough times too, I have seen how it feels to live in isolation, I know the situation when no friend of yours help you. Similarly happened to him, I like talking to him, he teaches me some salient views of life in a very impeccable way. I don’t know how to say it but he really is one of the important parts of my life.

Maybe this seems boring to you but having someone in your life who listens to your shit and guide you throughout the way, is an achievement in itself. They just refurbish your mind and fabricate some new thoughts in it so beautifully that you just can’t let them go.

 

Seeing someone in depression hurts me a lot, like deep down my heart. So, please if you see someone suffering from it, NEVER hesitate to talk to them. Because it’s so painful, it’s sometimes so frustrating you could have never thought of. Having a conversation with a person who is sad, teaches you the real meaning of happiness, of loyalty, of life. Trust me if you make them feel important, no matter if it’s in the smallest way, they won’t leave your hand. Because now you are somehow a part of their life, their memories. They will remember your words, your effort, your everything you have tried to make them feel happy.

It’s really a beautiful and mesmerizing experience. Just talk to them, if you don’t know what to say just listen. Listen to whatever they want to say. If they don’t share their things, just let them be. Make them feel so special, so important, so beautiful, that they won’t stop themselves to hug and cry on your shoulder. At least you can help a soul to rebuilt itself. Don’t force them to say things that are hurting them, otherwise they might get frustrated from your questions. Remember one thing, they are really sensitive, one bad word and you won’t understand how can it make it worse. So choose words wisely, be calm, and try to make things work out.

Have a good heart, stay positive.

-xOx-

Hey guys!

Feeling worst right now.

bye.

but wait. Don’t forget to like and comment your views. I’ll appreciate it.

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Yes I am not okay.

I stay quite,

Because i want to be.

I feel useless to talk in front of you all,

Because all you people see my emotions as “anger”.

I tried to make up things,

but you ruined them everytime.

You ask, why I am so upset?

Little did you know, you’re the only reason . 

Your mindset, your ego, your arrogance,

I am done with it but I should not be.

You do some unnecessary shits,

And praise them for God knows what reasons.

You say, you are so irritating,

Yes, I am… because you never tried to know what my heart belongs to.

You do what your fucking mind says,

But now it’s out of my level of peace.

I won’t be able to handle your shitty decisions,

Pardon me darling, you’re not going to lead on my way.

You said, I am changing,

YES I HAVE… atleast you noticed a thing. 

                                –xOx

It was always the same.. and will be..

Yet another day, I am here confused like always about what to write. It’s been a while I haven’t done anything on my blogs or poems. There are two types of times we all have in our lives, first one is “Busy phase” and the other one is “Boring phase”. I was in the second one while I was updating and updating. But now life hit me with lots and lots of books and a coaching institute to prepare for NEET (National Eligibility Entrance Test) well it’s an exam of entrance in medical colleges. I am sooo fed up of them because last year I didn’t got admission and here comes this year, again. All I gain in 2016 is WEIGHT. Well I copied this line from a post I saw on Instagram, sigh.

I still don’t know what I am talking about, just sharing some thoughts running through my mind right now. I am upset deep down from my heart since few months but haven’t showed up to anyone, even to my best friends. I don’t know why but I don’t like to share my sad sides to anyone anymore because things will always be the same if I tell this to someone or not. My heart is not accepting to give up on myself. It has been a year since I left my drawings and artwork behind. It seems stupid to you guys but still I am sorry for sharing these shits to you.

‘It doesn’t matter to me and everything related to it is shit’ I always reply this to my family and friends when they show me some great artwork or some handmade stuff on internet or some magazines (whatever). I still make handmade gifts for my special ones but I try not like it because it will bring back my pain which I am trying to hide since one whole Fu**ing year. Anger, depression, sadness and tears, these 4 things have been there for me every time I received some happiness just like buy 1 get 4 free (haha). I cry when some sad song comes on T.V like a stupid a**hole hiding tears, but again never show storms waving in my heart.

Well….

Thanks for reading….

ghalib-urdu-shayari-bas-khatam-kar-baazi-e-ishq-ghalib-muqadar-ky-hary-kabhi-jeeta-nahi-karty

–xOx–

If I will Die..

If I will die,

Tell my friends I never lied.

I was being loyal to them-

And was ashamed of my mistakes.

If I will die,

Tell my family I wasn’t always the worst.

I tried my best to give my bestest-

But somehow I ended up bruising their expectations.

If I will die,

Tell my love that I still love him.

I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough-

To make it through the worst.

If I will die,

Tell this world I was just a tiny dreamer.

Fought with herself every time she got down,

Just to paint her own star in emerald green-

Besides wasn’t aware of infinite meteors.

 

–xOx–

 

The Wedding Day (part-2)

Hey Readers!

Just a quick note, if you haven’t read the first part then please go through it first and then this one because it’s important! 😛

The Wedding Day (part-1)

Here’s the link and if you have read it already then you can proceed here.

Thank you! 


……….

Mom took my hands and led me outside

No noise, no voice, no celebrations foreside..

I noticed all eyes were on me staring

All I heard was people’s humming..

My heart was acting insane

The breaths, the beats, the brain..

Dad was standing in front of a flower decorated car

It was HIS, which was still unrevealed star..

I rolled my eyes at it all over in some expectations

The jasmines and roses, beautiful combinations..

Dad bowed head as he looked at me

I still didn’t got why everyone was looking at me..

I looked and gave a quick smile to dad curiously

He didn’t moved but looked at me restlessly..

“What happened?” mom asked when she came

I smiled in confusion and gestured the same..

He opened the door I was waiting for

The door I always dreamed and lived for..

There was the person I was willing to see

My future, my groom, my devotee..

My smile went bigger but dad didn’t responded

I took steps further to welcome him and greeted..

Mom asked the same if he could tell

But dad still was the same like he didn’t heard the yell..

I looked again in the car nervously

He wasn’t moving an inch even partly..

I bowed head to see as I got closer

My heart stopped and time got slower..

He was pale, pure and still

God, his eyes were closed and mine filled..

I looked at dad and again at him

“Dad he is not looking at me” I whispered

“He is not listening to my words” I whispered..

No replies I got in result

No words I got in return..

I kept asking hundreds of questions

It was like no one was giving me attention..

My body felt weaker as I don’t want to realize

My precious love, my better half is demised..

I noticed marooned henna on my hands

Wondered if he could find his name on its grands..

I wasn’t ready to face this extraordinary sorrow

It was like God has took everything he allowed me to borrow..

“No, please.. just no…” I whispered

“Please say something to me.. please!” I whispered..

Some people gathered to take him out of the car

I was just staring at him, my only leading star..

I wore a maroon lehnga and all the matching jewellary with it

He was wearing white Sherwani and matching shoes with it..

We were looking perfect

But God seems to be upset..

He was lying in front and not looking at me

And I was pretending all day that he will smile at me..

The butterflies I felt every time I saw him

Are dead now just like his soul met the rim..

I dreamed of every single thing of after marriage

The kids, the work, the happiness and affordable carriage..

 I literally didn’t believed he was gone

Someone told it was a car accident across the road..

He went to buy something he said ‘important’

The tear I felt on my cheek was inexplicably instant..

I closed my eyes and saw him smiling

Just like we first met and exchanged sweet hurtings..

I felt myself tumbled on the ground harshly

The pain, the cries, the screams loudly..

Just after my eyes closed and met him again

I saw him standing next to me in kingdoms of heaven..

We both were in whiten long outfits

Holding each other’s hands fearless and explicit..

That was the moment we gazed our eye’s ashen

In the presence of Almighty, we hitched in heaven ..

Pakistani-Indian-Wedding-Photographers-Chicago-011dsdsdssds

wed..

–xOx–

 

 

15 Reasons My parents feel I’m a Mistake..

Well sometimes I can also feel that!

Hello people,

Sorry I wasn’t here from 10 days-ooo that’s a long long time I mean like ages ago- Here I am now writing about some extremely relatable situations and reasons where my parents feel I am their mistake. Haha I’m so precious in reality.

Imagine yourself tied with ropes on vertically on an iron rod. Having some spices and lemon rubbed on your body just above the fire and seeing your mom and dad rolling it. If you can imagine this, you are the perfect one here to read this below. Parents love you a lot but sometimes you automatically make them feel that caption above. Lett’s do some work and let me explain everything to you:-

  1. When I break something important piece which is related to their lives. Example: I broke a stick which was thin as straw and it was related to my mom’s ancestors and it has been saved from 1000 years. Nothing but a piece of shit in my home. For God’s sake it’s just a piece of wood I mean…. I am not going to be a chicken for breaking that freaking piece of stick!
  2. When I eat like a monkey because I was hungry as hell, and my mom looks at me like pathetic bloody abnormal and give expressions you know how.
  3. When I say a joke in front of them and nothing changes but their state of mind.
  4. When I take part in some stuff in school’s function and come back with a participation certificate. lol 😀
  5. When I try to study and after 5 minutes they notice me sleeping like a dinosaur.
  6. When I am totally into my phone and the worst part is, I am smiling.
  7. When my dad’s friend’s son’s classmate topped in school with 99.99% marks.
  8. When I do some house work and end up scattering more stuff and increasing the effort.
  9. When I go to shopping for grocery and take 5 extra stickers just for no reason.
  10. When my friend visit and talks about her habits of studying 18 hours a day and cooking delicious food to my mom. (the devil is on the edge now)
  11. When I play games with kids like pillow fight but hit them hard without any intention.
  12.  When I teach an infant some bad habits like picking their noses with both hands.
  13. When I want to give a throw something to my mom to catch it and she refused to do it, but apparently it goes in different direction so… commentator screams from the T.V – “AND IT’S A WIDE BALL!”.
  14. When I play a movie to watch with parents and tell them it’s a family film but somehow my fate kicks me and the film shows bad scenes (you know what I mean :p).
  15. When I urge to help her in taking lamps to the other room and she warned me to be careful, and I accidentally drop them. Million pieces of the lamp, million pieces of my body, following that chilly looks in her eyes. Like lamp, like Nisha. RIP to me.

Yoho guys. I hope you guys liked it and please do not forget to comment your ugly situations! would love to see them. Let me know if it was relatable.

Thanks A lot for Reading! 

-.The.Clever.Idiot.