How to make people laugh at your shitty talks.

 

So I was going through some posts on my feed and found nothing amusing. So I decided to write one for all of you. Well as always I say I am here to entertain people with my stupid blogs, yeah I don’t post much since few weeks or you can say months. But here I am again ready to eat your brains! Just kidding I don’t eat them at all.

I like to crack jokes in gatherings and love to make people laugh. But if someone don’t laugh at my jokes, I feel bad for them. As I titled this post ‘How to be funnier..’ so let’s write some points that can help you through this.

  • Be carefree. Don’t care what impact will it leave on people’s mind just say whatever you want to say if it seems funny to you but it’s a different thing if you include some sexual things in it. Stay away from it if you really don’t want to create a weird scene.
  • Be careful. Yeah really, don’t say things which don’t suite the scene. Well it depends on the situations and remember don’t be too bold to say anything which can hurt the guy in front. Like if he is fat and laughing a lot at your jokes and you say a thing like -“Your head looks like a boiled octopus to me!”. He may punch you hard (haha I would love that!)
  • Laugh at your own jokes. Not too much because then you will look a dying seal if you talk and laugh at the same time.
  • Not in mood. I know what it takes to laugh if you are sad or upset. But if you kinda resemble with me, I like to make people at least smile if they are feeling bad no matter how bad is my mood. I sometimes be a melo-drama in front of those homo sapiens. If I am seriously really disturbed then I walk away and don’t try to make an effort. I am what I am.
  • Insult. That’s my favorite part!  knows it really well. Insult your friends! YEAAH! tell them they are ugly as nothing on this planet! God is taking revenge from you that he sent them in your life because once you stole a half pencil from an unknown bag! Weird pet names can help you much! and they look like Kamal R.Khan when they wear glasses. You don’t know who is he? Then I believe you are having an actual life depression.*Sympathy from me*

krk-story_650_020615050028

That’s him ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yeah. I am sorry I can’t believe I have to see this in my posts I am just kind of realizing how my life can turn to worst in a second.

  • Timing. It’s the most important thing to be funnier. If you don’t have it I have to say this ‘I feel sorry for you’ :'(. I mean really, I have seen people who say their thing when the topic is over 2 hours ago.
  • Copy and paste of Dialogues. If you have seen a really funny movie and you find some dialogues hilarious, why don’t use them in front of people? For example- “Are maharaj! Tumare gurde kyu chhil rahe hain?” (Hey King! Why your kidneys are getting peeled off?) It means JEALOUSY in short if you didn’t got what I tried to say. Another example- “Khopdi tod saaale ka!” (Break the skull of that bastard!).. and so on.

Being funny is not difficult! just be yourself in a quirky way and make positive vibes every where you meet anyone. Spread Love, spread peace, treat everyone equally :p (stole that line from somewhere I won’t tell). And the only rule I want you guys to follow is:-

RACISM

No one deserves this ever.

-xOx-

Hi Readers!

I hope you liked this one so please leave comments about your funny and failed-to-make-laugh stories! I would be glad.

And yes if you guys need any classes for how to insult people you can find me on Instagram as @cleveridiot.nisha97 and if you don’t believe it, ask from Sumit I mentioned his website above. Keep practicing for being weird and refuse to be a dying seal. And yeah I liked that Boiled octopus punch haha! I may try this on someone at least once in my life time! 😀 😀

And if you still don’t know who is Kamal R.Khan then please let me know I would seriously write a motivational post for you.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

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It Happens Only in India (5 Things, which maybe you have faced, If you’re an Indian!)

Yo! welcome to my post ‘It Happens only in India’. I have a question for you guys, Does it really happens only in India? ‘It’ means there are so many things that we face only in India and nowhere else. So here I am to discuss you about some ridiculous stuff and some serious too (but you can take it as stupidity!) ..

5 Stupidest Things We have in India

1.Be like Sharma Ji ka beta (Be like Sharma Ji’s son). If you are Indian, you better know how it feels when parents compare their kids to others (for example Sharma’s, Mehra’s, Kumar’s, Khan’s, Malik’s, Rajput’s etc. infinity to death!). We Kalyug’s generation will never know the concept behind this but if you know why and If you are a parent in Indian society, then please let me know the reason. Indian parents will never understand the feelings of what their daughter/son wants to be. They just want to make their children go higher and higher in studies no matter if he/she doesn’t want to study or want to make career in another field [STORY OF MY LIFE]. They all want engineers, doctors, architectures and blah blah. I will never be able to understand this mentality.

2. Gossiping Aunties. Every society, street and whatever you want to say, have these types of aunties roaming here and there collecting exclusive news from every single house. I don’t know if it’s just me or anyone else who can do it, but I can see through their eyes what they must be thinking. These aunties always look at you with sharp eyes top to bottom and will definitely comment on your dressing sense. If they don’t say anything, they will surely ask you about where are you going? whom with you going? I saw you yesterday with a boy, who was he? Have you told this about to your mother or may I tell her about what are you doing these days? etc. (infinity to death!). If you think they will not tell your mum about meeting a guy, you can trust them! But don’t worry, they have already told about you to the whole world. You were broadcasted in a kitty party with which the headline was,’Her daughter was with a boy !’. No matter if he is your friend or cousin. Death to the infinity!

3. Get married now if you’re 25. The beautiful society we have in India, and the gorgeous aunties and intelligent uncles embedded in it making it more Indian. No matter if you are a guy, get married under 25 otherwise they will think you can never make a family in future  because your age is going for reproducing (Yeah you got me right!). If you are a girl, get married immediately if you are 20 otherwise they will set their minds to the same reason for you. If they got to know that your parents are not accepting any one’s proposal right now because you’re too young to get married (for obvious reasons), they will help you to find out a perfect match for you (Buhdum Tssss!). WTH. Not everyone can deal with these types of uncles & aunties. You just have to know how to answer these people if you have got that much guts and you are ready to get accused for bad manners in front of the whole world, GO ON! BE THE SPARTA!

4. The Caste system. This is the most ridiculous thing we have in India and believe me or not this system is followed in every single corner in this country. What is Caste System? It is a rule followed by mostly Muslims and Hindus as well. The rule is to marry a girl or a guy similar to his/her category (or caste or social order whatever it is, it’s frustrating). It is followed so strictly that you have no choice instead of walking on road that your parents have prepared for you. No matter if you like it or not, you have to do it. Even my family is infected with this virus of Caste System. You just can’t go across the line otherwise you’ll be dead or get cut-off a to your family. A single person can never make a change in here.

5. My kids always get full marks. Appreciating kids in front of relatives and friends no matter if they are the dumbest student in their class. These parents are really weird and seriously I am the one and only kid who gets frustrated about these shits. I just hate when my Ammi or Papa use to make bridges of praising me in front of relatives like- She studies for hours and hours and she is so harworking and …….. (well, they hardly do that but when they do, it’s exhausting because I have a habit of evil scolding which I use to receive from them 😥). We all have these type  of parents, either it’s your mom or it’s your dad.

EXAMPLES:

Me, singing a song while doing some work. . .

Dad to relatives: My son sings really well! I’m proud of him.

After 5 minutes when relatives are gone. . .

Dad: Why do you always sing songs huh! Can’t you go and study in your room for 48 hours continuously? Look at Khanna’s son, he is topper in his class! And you bloody garbage bin!

What the hell is coming from infinty to my life?? The duck!

ALL I KNOW AT THE END OF THE DAY IS A CUP OF TEA AND BREAK FROM THESE STUPID THINGS WITH A BLANK PAGE  WHERE I CAN WRITE ALL I WANT TO.

IMPORTANT NOTE!

I love my country the most so please excuse me if you thought that I have written some shits about India and not the praising words. You are not one of those relatives in front of which I’ll praise my India. JK! Well tell me if you liked it or just give it a vote and please DO NOT FORGET TO COMMENT YOUR VIEWS! because they really mean the world to me. 😉