It was me.. Dead.

It was 2 AM at night I still was scrolling on my feed like it is involved in my daily routine. Nothing interesting was their at all so I put my phone back beside my pillow and stared at the blank wall. I kept thinking about my mistakes and future stuff like everyone do. 10 minutes later I was yawning like a goat so I  closed my eyes and decided to wait for sleep to come.

Few seconds later I saw myself in a place which was all deep white and nothing was there, not even my shadow. I walked in some direction I don’t know and kept walking expecting some results of this benumbed white atmosphere. “Hellooo..” I called for someone to hear me but it was the same. I was in my bedroom a minute ago but where the hell am I now? How would I get back? I was worried and scared and nothing was running through my mind until I saw someone whispering for help.

That person was some meters away from me. She was laying and the blood was flowing from her body continuously. I was nervous and scared after watching her in that condition. I stepped towards her almost dead body but still she was calling for help. I looked around expecting some other normal person like me but there wasn’t anyone. My feet were like shivering because I haven’t saw anyone like this before.

As I reached to her, my soul was thrilled…

There wasn’t any cloth on her body, her scars, her blood and dark blemishes covered her..

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

For a moment I didn’t understood what was going on. I ran away from that girl exactly like me but again I saw her in my way. I looked back at the previous one but it wasn’t there.

I screamed for help and again there wasn’t anyone to hear me. That girl called me again but I didn’t went close to her. I was so scared that I started crying. But for my surprise my tears weren’t coming from my eyes. I cried for¬†help but no one replied. There was me and her in that deathlike world, completely white just like fog in the chilliest winter and not cold at all.

She stopped calling, the bleeding stopped.. No movement, nothing in response.

I prepared myself and went closer a bit to see what happened. Her body was burned badly and nothing was wrong with her face, I mean my face.. I touched her forehead and saw her bruised body. It was like she has been cursed so badly. Hundreds of thoughts were running through my mind. Her eyes were open and all deep black. I took my stole and covered her from it because the bruises were so bad I couldn’t even see them. I was crying and scared and wasn’t able to do anything for her (for myself..) My whole body turned pale and weaker.

Nothing changed, I was alone a moment before but I felt more alone now. When I saw a part of me died in front of me. I didn’t listened to me. I didn’t helped me.

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

It was me.. Dead.

In the world of heavenly white, cursed with netherworld’s sinned bruises.

-xOx-

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One Day…

One day when I’m gone,
One day when you’ll don’t have someone to scold,
One day when the sky will be like it wasn’t ever before,
One day when you find my body pale and still,
One day when you just can’t handle yourself,
One day when you’ll find your biggest regret,
One day when you’ll miss me..
On that day, you will realize that I left nothing but a mirror for you.
In which you will see what you have done to yourself and made it more hard to breath.
On that day you’ll see me smiling since you have entered in my life.
I wish that you could see storms and the winds which I have seen.
Only then you will realize,
That I actually tried my best to live with you.
But it could never be always about you anymore.
One day…
I’ll be free from this world, this life, this love, this YOU!…

A Letter to my Daughter..

The day you will enter this world you will find so many kinds of people..

But sweety, don’t be afraid of them they are just illusion…

They will judge you, they will make you feel at worse,

They will do every thing what makes you feel upset..

They will always try to ruin you and destroy your confidence..

You will face a lot of difficulties here, But don’t you give up because I’ll be there to pick you up..

I promise I’ll take care of you when you fall ill..

I promise I’ll be there to pick you up and set up your Tiara..

I’ll never pressurize you for what you don’t want to do..

Sometimes, you will find me strict on you but that will be only for you..

This world will try to confuse you in your whole life..

Some will say you look exactly like your mum..

Some will say your eyes are like your mum’s..

Some will judge you about your looks and lumps..

I want you to feel happy about yourself..

Because you’re beautiful, don’t forget that my little sunshine..

Live life to the fullest and don’t worry about the negatives..

God will take care about them, when I’m gone..

Never ever ever give up on your dreams in any way..

Because not everyone got potential to do that..

Promise me you will be what I am not today..

You will do whatever your heart says and achieve things as much as you can..

I wish you’ll miss me when I’m gone, with a smile on your face but not tears..

Because I can’t see this pretty girl crying in fears..

I will do everything what makes you feel happy, brave and revive..

Since I know how it feels to live in a grave when you’re alive…