Yes I am not okay.

I stay quite,

Because i want to be.

I feel useless to talk in front of you all,

Because all you people see my emotions as “anger”.

I tried to make up things,

but you ruined them everytime.

You ask, why I am so upset?

Little did you know, you’re the only reason . 

Your mindset, your ego, your arrogance,

I am done with it but I should not be.

You do some unnecessary shits,

And praise them for God knows what reasons.

You say, you are so irritating,

Yes, I am… because you never tried to know what my heart belongs to.

You do what your fucking mind says,

But now it’s out of my level of peace.

I won’t be able to handle your shitty decisions,

Pardon me darling, you’re not going to lead on my way.

You said, I am changing,

YES I HAVE… atleast you noticed a thing. 

                                –xOx–

Touch.

He kept his eyes on me when I wore that dress in front of him,

Recalling those unforgettable touches we had just a moment before..

He tried to conceal the monster of love inside his thoughts,

When I traced my fingers on his skin just the way he wanted..

-xOx-

 

 

 

 

 

Summer love.

It feels like snow in september,

But I always will remember..

You were my Summer Love,

You’ll always will be my Summer Love..

– One Direction

Me.

I decide every day to kill myself today. 

Rusty Canvases..

 

Maybe you don’t know,

I love you from the soul..

Your presence erases all of my fears,

Just don’t know how you washed away my tears..

I love your smile and shimmery glances,

Your kiss, your shirt, your heavenly fragrances..

I want to explore every minute thing of yours,

Your weakness, your strength, your hearty shores..

Cuddling on the couch in the middle of the night,

Kissing your soul and stealing your inner sights..

I may will never ever get enough of you,

Darling, I want to touch your skin and be new..

That unlit mole on the right side of your bottom neck,

Still makes me crazy and my heart throb for a sec..

As I embellish you on my rusty canvases,

I stained myself as that golden intimate stances..

-xOx-

---

Hello Guys!

Well… hmmm just hit like if you liked it and if you already liked it then thanks for liking! Really? yeah. Please don’t forget to comment your views they are important as oxygen to me.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

Unbroken.

So you left-

I am still here.

Literally numb with my thoughts,

Trying to sum up the pieces

Of me, scattered on the floor.

Trying to stand on my feet once again.

Though my brain is as heavy as ton of metals,

Still I am willing to go to that window,

with broken glasses, to see.

To see what it’s like to watch the world

With all my soul and not my eyes.

I don’t know what I am doing

I don’t know what I will do.

But, Oh Lord! give me strength

To stay alive, to live my life.

To face what comes in it’s blustering way.

And when I opened the doors of my heart

The rich and mild pieces of light-

came in my world of dreams.

I wonder if it will grow with time

I wonder if only it will stay with me forever.

I am scared yet confident

For the journey I decided to travel. 

Although silently that piece of light

is pouring some rags of hope in my heart.

YES, I am ready to live

YES, I am ready to get rid of your shits

YES, I will be that one who I want to be

YES, I will do what my heart says.

I don’t care now because I have got colored

Colored on my own, Yeah.

That’s a pure, untouched, GOLDEN.

And now I don’t need your promises anymore

Because I will be that one, strong and UNBROKEN.

-xOx-

Hi guys!

Sorry for updating this one this late! Oh God that was almost a century! hah jk. Well I hope you liked this so give it a star and don’t forget to comment your views about it. I’ll be glad! 🙂 And yeah, this whole series is dedicated to one and only one DEMI LOVATO. Love you girl! will always be a lovatic chic 😉

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

Broken.

Look at me,

Can’t you see the pain?

I was wondering if you’d have ever thought about me.

Don’t you remember the times we have spent?

Don’t you recall those laughs we had few years back, don’t you?

I wish I could talk to you.

I wish I could make you mine again.

Maybe it was always fake as I haven’t realized this distance then.

Cuz after 3 years, still I don’t want to accept that you don’t care anymore.

I wish I could say sorry to you.

I wish I could apologize for the reason you’ve left me.

My efforts were always at their peaks.

But the reactions went neutral every time.

You never responded to my screams, to my calls, my begs.

But you were selfish, you never told me what’s the matter, the reason.

I have so many questions buried in my mind and clenched in my heart.

I always get melted down whenever I see your graceful (shit) face.

No matter if I pretend to be strong and smile like nothing’s wrong.

But inside I’m dying.

I’m dying to talk to you, to ask you, to tell you.

I want to say SORRY for the reason I don’t know.

I am really sorry if I hurt you.

I wish I could get you back, like we were before.

I worry about the times when you will ignore my funeral too.

Because you hate me so much, that you don’t even want to see my face.

Hardly at some points you smiled at me when I was in front of you.

Was it just to make me more hurt?

More guilty? more broken?

I prayed to God just for you at times.

But maybe they never reached to him.

I miss you a lot.

I just. miss you. I miss US.

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

a.k.a Nisha.

Stained from Divine..

This moment would be perfect

If I had you wrapped in my arms

Talking about your favorite movie

Just to feel your smirks and charms..

 

This time would be perfect

If I had just you to be with me

Watching this beautiful rain

And listen to that first met story..

 

This day would be perfect

If I could kiss you right now

Holding you close and not letting you go

And presumably make you feel special somehow..

 

This life would be perfect

If I had your love as same as mine

Walking intertwined in the alleys of heaven

To be the Saga of Love, stained from Divine..

If I will Die..

If I will die,

Tell my friends I never lied.

I was being loyal to them-

And was ashamed of my mistakes.

If I will die,

Tell my family I wasn’t always the worst.

I tried my best to give my bestest-

But somehow I ended up bruising their expectations.

If I will die,

Tell my love that I still love him.

I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough-

To make it through the worst.

If I will die,

Tell this world I was just a tiny dreamer.

Fought with herself every time she got down,

Just to paint her own star in emerald green-

Besides wasn’t aware of infinite meteors.

 

–xOx–

 

The Wedding Day (part-2)

Hey Readers!

Just a quick note, if you haven’t read the first part then please go through it first and then this one because it’s important! 😛

The Wedding Day (part-1)

Here’s the link and if you have read it already then you can proceed here.

Thank you! 

---

……….

Mom took my hands and led me outside

No noise, no voice, no celebrations foreside..

I noticed all eyes were on me staring

All I heard was people’s humming..

My heart was acting insane

The breaths, the beats, the brain..

Dad was standing in front of a flower decorated car

It was HIS, which was still unrevealed star..

I rolled my eyes at it all over in some expectations

The jasmines and roses, beautiful combinations..

Dad bowed head as he looked at me

I still didn’t got why everyone was looking at me..

I looked and gave a quick smile to dad curiously

He didn’t moved but looked at me restlessly..

“What happened?” mom asked when she came

I smiled in confusion and gestured the same..

He opened the door I was waiting for

The door I always dreamed and lived for..

There was the person I was willing to see

My future, my groom, my devotee..

My smile went bigger but dad didn’t responded

I took steps further to welcome him and greeted..

Mom asked the same if he could tell

But dad still was the same like he didn’t heard the yell..

I looked again in the car nervously

He wasn’t moving an inch even partly..

I bowed head to see as I got closer

My heart stopped and time got slower..

He was pale, pure and still

God, his eyes were closed and mine filled..

I looked at dad and again at him

“Dad he is not looking at me” I whispered

“He is not listening to my words” I whispered..

No replies I got in result

No words I got in return..

I kept asking hundreds of questions

It was like no one was giving me attention..

My body felt weaker as I don’t want to realize

My precious love, my better half is demised..

I noticed marooned henna on my hands

Wondered if he could find his name on its grands..

I wasn’t ready to face this extraordinary sorrow

It was like God has took everything he allowed me to borrow..

“No, please.. just no…” I whispered

“Please say something to me.. please!” I whispered..

Some people gathered to take him out of the car

I was just staring at him, my only leading star..

I wore a maroon lehnga and all the matching jewellary with it

He was wearing white Sherwani and matching shoes with it..

We were looking perfect

But God seems to be upset..

He was lying in front and not looking at me

And I was pretending all day that he will smile at me..

The butterflies I felt every time I saw him

Are dead now just like his soul met the rim..

I dreamed of every single thing of after marriage

The kids, the work, the happiness and affordable carriage..

 I literally didn’t believed he was gone

Someone told it was a car accident across the road..

He went to buy something he said ‘important’

The tear I felt on my cheek was inexplicably instant..

I closed my eyes and saw him smiling

Just like we first met and exchanged sweet hurtings..

I felt myself tumbled on the ground harshly

The pain, the cries, the screams loudly..

Just after my eyes closed and met him again

I saw him standing next to me in kingdoms of heaven..

We both were in whiten long outfits

Holding each other’s hands fearless and explicit..

That was the moment we gazed our eye’s ashen

In the presence of Almighty, we hitched in heaven ..

–xOx–