What to do when you see someone you love, in Depression.

It’s been a long time since I have posted here. Yeah all bloggers write this when they come back I know. The viewers are already aware that you didn’t posted anything so just shut up and do what ever you are here for!

So, today we are going to discuss about some of my issues. I don’t know why this affects me so much that a person who is close to me, when he or she talks to someone else, it pisses me off. Like really, i don’t have you in my life for sharing you with some one else. So, STFU.

I know it’s quiet possessive but yeah that’s me. Actually the thing is, I have recently created a good bond with my teacher. He shares everything of his life and I too, share a bit. Seeing someone in depression kills my soul quietly. So, I did tried to make him feel good because some way serious shit happened to him a couple of months ago.

I have been in tough times too, I have seen how it feels to live in isolation, I know the situation when no friend of yours help you. Similarly happened to him, I like talking to him, he teaches me some salient views of life in a very impeccable way. I don’t know how to say it but he really is one of the important parts of my life.

Maybe this seems boring to you but having someone in your life who listens to your shit and guide you throughout the way, is an achievement in itself. They just refurbish your mind and fabricate some new thoughts in it so beautifully that you just can’t let them go.

 

Seeing someone in depression hurts me a lot, like deep down my heart. So, please if you see someone suffering from it, NEVER hesitate to talk to them. Because it’s so painful, it’s sometimes so frustrating you could have never thought of. Having a conversation with a person who is sad, teaches you the real meaning of happiness, of loyalty, of life. Trust me if you make them feel important, no matter if it’s in the smallest way, they won’t leave your hand. Because now you are somehow a part of their life, their memories. They will remember your words, your effort, your everything you have tried to make them feel happy.

It’s really a beautiful and mesmerizing experience. Just talk to them, if you don’t know what to say just listen. Listen to whatever they want to say. If they don’t share their things, just let them be. Make them feel so special, so important, so beautiful, that they won’t stop themselves to hug and cry on your shoulder. At least you can help a soul to rebuilt itself. Don’t force them to say things that are hurting them, otherwise they might get frustrated from your questions. Remember one thing, they are really sensitive, one bad word and you won’t understand how can it make it worse. So choose words wisely, be calm, and try to make things work out.

Have a good heart, stay positive.

-xOx-

Hey guys!

Feeling worst right now.

bye.

but wait. Don’t forget to like and comment your views. I’ll appreciate it.

Yes I am not okay.

I stay quite,

Because i want to be.

I feel useless to talk in front of you all,

Because all you people see my emotions as “anger”.

I tried to make up things,

but you ruined them everytime.

You ask, why I am so upset?

Little did you know, you’re the only reason . 

Your mindset, your ego, your arrogance,

I am done with it but I should not be.

You do some unnecessary shits,

And praise them for God knows what reasons.

You say, you are so irritating,

Yes, I am… because you never tried to know what my heart belongs to.

You do what your fucking mind says,

But now it’s out of my level of peace.

I won’t be able to handle your shitty decisions,

Pardon me darling, you’re not going to lead on my way.

You said, I am changing,

YES I HAVE… atleast you noticed a thing. 

                                –xOx–

Raped..

Alone in the alleys of town

Light hours were already drown..

A couple of strangers stared at me

I kept walking like I should be..

No sound, no noise came foreside

Just me and my dim shadow beside..

Hummings of them followed my steps

Calming my heart I speeded up my steps..

One of them wrapped my waist and my mouth

The other one lifted my legs and turned to south..

I tried to shout but I failed

I tried to get off but I failed..

Fidgety me, screaming me, crying me

Hard to accept but sin to see..

They ripped my clothes and tied me up

They hit my head with a solid rod..

They harmed my cleavages and my body

I felt my private part bleeding already..

I fainted due to the wounds of sex

My tear fell down, I don’t know what happened next..

When I got concious, I heard them talking about killing me or not

It was the 3rd day already so they should  stop..

I saw my body, it was pale, cutted, harmed bruises on it

A picture of my mother came to my eyes, I remember, my dad captured it..

They came again and opened the ropes

Threw me in the car and drove some way near shores..

They abused me, hitted me again and again

But my body was cold, it didn’t reflected the pain..

They were monsters that are intellectually  bruised

I was raped… in the alleys of my childhood..

…………………………………………….

Hi readers!

My heart pounded when I searched for pictured related to rape. Please raise your voice against wrong. I am so thrilled to see that these kind of people still are living a normal life. I just don’t know how to control my mind right now.

Please support girls.

.The.Clever.Idiot.

Me.

I decide every day to kill myself today. 

How to make people laugh at your shitty talks.

 

So I was going through some posts on my feed and found nothing amusing. So I decided to write one for all of you. Well as always I say I am here to entertain people with my stupid blogs, yeah I don’t post much since few weeks or you can say months. But here I am again ready to eat your brains! Just kidding I don’t eat them at all.

I like to crack jokes in gatherings and love to make people laugh. But if someone don’t laugh at my jokes, I feel bad for them. As I titled this post ‘How to be funnier..’ so let’s write some points that can help you through this.

• Be carefree. Don’t care what impact will it leave on people’s mind just say whatever you want to say if it seems funny to you but it’s a different thing if you include some sexual things in it. Stay away from it if you really don’t want to create a weird scene.
• Be careful. Yeah really, don’t say things which don’t suite the scene. Well it depends on the situations and remember don’t be too bold to say anything which can hurt the guy in front. Like if he is fat and laughing a lot at your jokes and you say a thing like -“Your head looks like a boiled octopus to me!”. He may punch you hard (haha I would love that!)
• Laugh at your own jokes. Not too much because then you will look a dying seal if you talk and laugh at the same time.
• Not in mood. I know what it takes to laugh if you are sad or upset. But if you kinda resemble with me, I like to make people at least smile if they are feeling bad no matter how bad is my mood. I sometimes be a melo-drama in front of those homo sapiens. If I am seriously really disturbed then I walk away and don’t try to make an effort. I am what I am.
• Insult. That’s my favorite part! SumitOfficial knows it really well. Insult your friends! YEAAH! tell them they are ugly as nothing on this planet! God is taking revenge from you that he sent them in your life because once you stole a half pencil from an unknown bag! Weird pet names can help you much! and they look like Kamal R.Khan when they wear glasses. You don’t know who is he? Then I believe you are having an actual life depression.*Sympathy from me*

That’s him ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yeah. I am sorry I can’t believe I have to see this in my posts I am just kind of realizing how my life can turn to worst in a second.

• Timing. It’s the most important thing to be funnier. If you don’t have it I have to say this ‘I feel sorry for you’ :'(. I mean really, I have seen people who say their thing when the topic is over 2 hours ago.
• Copy and paste of Dialogues. If you have seen a really funny movie and you find some dialogues hilarious, why don’t use them in front of people? For example- “Are maharaj! Tumare gurde kyu chhil rahe hain?” (Hey King! Why your kidneys are getting peeled off?) It means JEALOUSY in short if you didn’t got what I tried to say. Another example- “Khopdi tod saaale ka!” (Break the skull of that bastard!).. and so on.

Being funny is not difficult! just be yourself in a quirky way and make positive vibes every where you meet anyone. Spread Love, spread peace, treat everyone equally :p (stole that line from somewhere I won’t tell). And the only rule I want you guys to follow is:-

RACISM

No one deserves this ever.

-xOx-

Hi Readers!

I hope you liked this one so please leave comments about your funny and failed-to-make-laugh stories! I would be glad.

And yes if you guys need any classes for how to insult people you can find me on Instagram as @cleveridiot.nisha97 and if you don’t believe it, ask from Sumit I mentioned his website above. Keep practicing for being weird and refuse to be a dying seal. And yeah I liked that Boiled octopus punch haha! I may try this on someone at least once in my life time! 😀 😀

And if you still don’t know who is Kamal R.Khan then please let me know I would seriously write a motivational post for you.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

10 things a girl actually wants..

There were so many great scientists who came and gone and discovered uncommon and phenomenal things which we learn and literally write about them in our exam sheets. They had different minds which imagined some unusual things. But my heart is aching just because there is no one born who could tell us about ‘What a girl really wants’. As I was thinking about this topic, I came through some points which forced me to write them here. Let’s get started.

1.DISCOUNT. Ehm ehm, so basically I am a girl and I can’t understand even myself. I mean why? Why I need discount in everything I buy and I don’t care if I buy a t-shirt that have 70% discount already and I go to shopkeeper and ask quietly if he can give me some more of discount on it. He gives a look like I have asked for his kidney! I hope he won’t do it for iPhone 7 as well.

 

2.12 AM birthday wishes. If I receive 200 wishes at 12 AM from my loved ones and only 1 friend is left to wish, I feel like hell I mean ‘Did he forgot my birthday?’, ‘Am I not important for him anymore?’,’Maybe he is sleeping.’,’But why! I won’t talk to him ever, aaughh!’.. Seriously I am that stupid.

3.Laughs. Again I am repeating this one because it is as stupid as Mr. bean! If I tell you a joke then just laugh, I said laugh! L.A.U.G.H. laaauughhh!

4.Appreciation. If I make horrible food and I know that, but I still expect that the person in front will say at least something positive about it, but literally they don’t… Another thing is if I wear a new outfit and look weird, I need some ‘You’re looking beautiful!’ kind of reviews about me. Seriously I am that idiot. Did I said that again? uhh.

5.Slim-trim comments. When I am getting fat, (Well I am already) but more fat. And I know that. but. every time I wear a new dress and it’s so-tight-I-can’t-breath I want some suggestions as same as always, GOOD! BEAUTIFUL! GOD HAS MADE YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE! maa ki aankh. (you can translate it if you want too 😉 :p)

6.Perfect Selfie. I don’t care if it will take 999999 takes to get a perfect selfie, I will still click-click-click-click-click. (Mention the amount in words in comment section).

7.Street Food Without FAT. well I don’t wanna change the taste but yeah it has to be fat free just because I want that to be. Don’t mess with me! Bhai Gol Gappe mast bane hain.

8.1 Woman Man. If you can’t stop flirting with other girls, stay away if you don’t want to change your looks! yet it’s not funny thing so. Mind it Rascala!

9.Attention. Am I getting serious now? But sometimes this thing gets really awkward I mean if I am chatting in whatsapp or any other group of people, if for a second my opinion is ignored then I want to hit everyone in their faces and shout out loud whatever I want to say. But yeah it can happen to everyone else, soo I am not alone in this universe.

10.MAKE-UP. Whyyy!! what on earth did invented this amazingly shitty thing!! I mean seriously, girls are so obsessed these days with make up that they can’t even survive without it. Absolutely I have no idea what would be the scene in 2020s about it. I just don’t understand when girls will learn to live natural….

-xOx-

Okay so I finish it here now. I hope I bring a small tiny piny smile on your gorgeous and literally without make-up faces haha! well jokes apart, I want to tell something in extra and important stuff to you.

• No matter what kind of a girl there is, the only thing she wants is CARE. We girls have sensitive hearts so we need care just like more of that I guess.
• If you know a girl who wears much make up just tell her that she is beautiful without it and there’s no need to put on it in extra amount. She will say ‘I love you’ in return trust me.
• So basically we girls need is care, that is why some show tantrums but never say what they want. Some fight, be a bitch, or whatever it is. Just be with her, tell her she is beautiful and let her chase what she wants.
• But don’t leave her alone because still, GIRLS ARE AS STUPID AS NOTHING ON THIS PLANET.

Please comment your views about it and let me know what kind of things a girl really wants. Obviously I haven’t wrote everything but some of them. Share your thoughts and give it a star if you think it’s worth it. Thank you Mr. Obama you helped me through this! 

Picture credit- Google bhaisab.

Keep Smiling-Love memes,

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

 

Unbroken.

So you left-

I am still here.

Literally numb with my thoughts,

Trying to sum up the pieces

Of me, scattered on the floor.

Trying to stand on my feet once again.

Though my brain is as heavy as ton of metals,

Still I am willing to go to that window,

with broken glasses, to see.

To see what it’s like to watch the world

With all my soul and not my eyes.

I don’t know what I am doing

I don’t know what I will do.

But, Oh Lord! give me strength

To stay alive, to live my life.

To face what comes in it’s blustering way.

And when I opened the doors of my heart

The rich and mild pieces of light-

came in my world of dreams.

I wonder if it will grow with time

I wonder if only it will stay with me forever.

I am scared yet confident

For the journey I decided to travel. 

Although silently that piece of light

is pouring some rags of hope in my heart.

YES, I am ready to live

YES, I am ready to get rid of your shits

YES, I will be that one who I want to be

YES, I will do what my heart says.

I don’t care now because I have got colored

Colored on my own, Yeah.

That’s a pure, untouched, GOLDEN.

And now I don’t need your promises anymore

Because I will be that one, strong and UNBROKEN.

-xOx-

Hi guys!

Sorry for updating this one this late! Oh God that was almost a century! hah jk. Well I hope you liked this so give it a star and don’t forget to comment your views about it. I’ll be glad! 🙂 And yeah, this whole series is dedicated to one and only one DEMI LOVATO. Love you girl! will always be a lovatic chic 😉

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

Broken.

Look at me,

Can’t you see the pain?

I was wondering if you’d have ever thought about me.

Don’t you remember the times we have spent?

Don’t you recall those laughs we had few years back, don’t you?

I wish I could talk to you.

I wish I could make you mine again.

Maybe it was always fake as I haven’t realized this distance then.

Cuz after 3 years, still I don’t want to accept that you don’t care anymore.

I wish I could say sorry to you.

I wish I could apologize for the reason you’ve left me.

My efforts were always at their peaks.

But the reactions went neutral every time.

You never responded to my screams, to my calls, my begs.

But you were selfish, you never told me what’s the matter, the reason.

I have so many questions buried in my mind and clenched in my heart.

I always get melted down whenever I see your graceful (shit) face.

No matter if I pretend to be strong and smile like nothing’s wrong.

But inside I’m dying.

I’m dying to talk to you, to ask you, to tell you.

I want to say SORRY for the reason I don’t know.

I am really sorry if I hurt you.

I wish I could get you back, like we were before.

I worry about the times when you will ignore my funeral too.

Because you hate me so much, that you don’t even want to see my face.

Hardly at some points you smiled at me when I was in front of you.

Was it just to make me more hurt?

More guilty? more broken?

I prayed to God just for you at times.

But maybe they never reached to him.

I miss you a lot.

I just. miss you. I miss US.

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

a.k.a Nisha.

It was always the same.. and will be..

Yet another day, I am here confused like always about what to write. It’s been a while I haven’t done anything on my blogs or poems. There are two types of times we all have in our lives, first one is “Busy phase” and the other one is “Boring phase”. I was in the second one while I was updating and updating. But now life hit me with lots and lots of books and a coaching institute to prepare for NEET (National Eligibility Entrance Test) well it’s an exam of entrance in medical colleges. I am sooo fed up of them because last year I didn’t got admission and here comes this year, again. All I gain in 2016 is WEIGHT. Well I copied this line from a post I saw on Instagram, sigh.

I still don’t know what I am talking about, just sharing some thoughts running through my mind right now. I am upset deep down from my heart since few months but haven’t showed up to anyone, even to my best friends. I don’t know why but I don’t like to share my sad sides to anyone anymore because things will always be the same if I tell this to someone or not. My heart is not accepting to give up on myself. It has been a year since I left my drawings and artwork behind. It seems stupid to you guys but still I am sorry for sharing these shits to you.

‘It doesn’t matter to me and everything related to it is shit’ I always reply this to my family and friends when they show me some great artwork or some handmade stuff on internet or some magazines (whatever). I still make handmade gifts for my special ones but I try not like it because it will bring back my pain which I am trying to hide since one whole Fu**ing year. Anger, depression, sadness and tears, these 4 things have been there for me every time I received some happiness just like buy 1 get 4 free (haha). I cry when some sad song comes on T.V like a stupid a**hole hiding tears, but again never show storms waving in my heart.

Well….

Thanks for reading….

–xOx–

If I will Die..

If I will die,

Tell my friends I never lied.

I was being loyal to them-

And was ashamed of my mistakes.

If I will die,

Tell my family I wasn’t always the worst.

I tried my best to give my bestest-

But somehow I ended up bruising their expectations.

If I will die,

Tell my love that I still love him.

I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough-

To make it through the worst.

If I will die,

Tell this world I was just a tiny dreamer.

Fought with herself every time she got down,

Just to paint her own star in emerald green-

Besides wasn’t aware of infinite meteors.

 

–xOx–