It was me.. Dead.

It was 2 AM at night I still was scrolling on my feed like it is involved in my daily routine. Nothing interesting was their at all so I put my phone back beside my pillow and stared at the blank wall. I kept thinking about my mistakes and future stuff like everyone do. 10 minutes later I was yawning like a goat so I  closed my eyes and decided to wait for sleep to come.

Few seconds later I saw myself in a place which was all deep white and nothing was there, not even my shadow. I walked in some direction I don’t know and kept walking expecting some results of this benumbed white atmosphere. “Hellooo..” I called for someone to hear me but it was the same. I was in my bedroom a minute ago but where the hell am I now? How would I get back? I was worried and scared and nothing was running through my mind until I saw someone whispering for help.

That person was some meters away from me. She was laying and the blood was flowing from her body continuously. I was nervous and scared after watching her in that condition. I stepped towards her almost dead body but still she was calling for help. I looked around expecting some other normal person like me but there wasn’t anyone. My feet were like shivering because I haven’t saw anyone like this before.

As I reached to her, my soul was thrilled…

There wasn’t any cloth on her body, her scars, her blood and dark blemishes covered her..

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

For a moment I didn’t understood what was going on. I ran away from that girl exactly like me but again I saw her in my way. I looked back at the previous one but it wasn’t there.

I screamed for help and again there wasn’t anyone to hear me. That girl called me again but I didn’t went close to her. I was so scared that I started crying. But for my surprise my tears weren’t coming from my eyes. I cried for help but no one replied. There was me and her in that deathlike world, completely white just like fog in the chilliest winter and not cold at all.

She stopped calling, the bleeding stopped.. No movement, nothing in response.

I prepared myself and went closer a bit to see what happened. Her body was burned badly and nothing was wrong with her face, I mean my face.. I touched her forehead and saw her bruised body. It was like she has been cursed so badly. Hundreds of thoughts were running through my mind. Her eyes were open and all deep black. I took my stole and covered her from it because the bruises were so bad I couldn’t even see them. I was crying and scared and wasn’t able to do anything for her (for myself..) My whole body turned pale and weaker.

Nothing changed, I was alone a moment before but I felt more alone now. When I saw a part of me died in front of me. I didn’t listened to me. I didn’t helped me.

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

It was me.. Dead.

In the world of heavenly white, cursed with netherworld’s sinned bruises.

-xOx-

How to make people laugh at your shitty talks.

 

So I was going through some posts on my feed and found nothing amusing. So I decided to write one for all of you. Well as always I say I am here to entertain people with my stupid blogs, yeah I don’t post much since few weeks or you can say months. But here I am again ready to eat your brains! Just kidding I don’t eat them at all.

I like to crack jokes in gatherings and love to make people laugh. But if someone don’t laugh at my jokes, I feel bad for them. As I titled this post ‘How to be funnier..’ so let’s write some points that can help you through this.

• Be carefree. Don’t care what impact will it leave on people’s mind just say whatever you want to say if it seems funny to you but it’s a different thing if you include some sexual things in it. Stay away from it if you really don’t want to create a weird scene.
• Be careful. Yeah really, don’t say things which don’t suite the scene. Well it depends on the situations and remember don’t be too bold to say anything which can hurt the guy in front. Like if he is fat and laughing a lot at your jokes and you say a thing like -“Your head looks like a boiled octopus to me!”. He may punch you hard (haha I would love that!)
• Laugh at your own jokes. Not too much because then you will look a dying seal if you talk and laugh at the same time.
• Not in mood. I know what it takes to laugh if you are sad or upset. But if you kinda resemble with me, I like to make people at least smile if they are feeling bad no matter how bad is my mood. I sometimes be a melo-drama in front of those homo sapiens. If I am seriously really disturbed then I walk away and don’t try to make an effort. I am what I am.
• Insult. That’s my favorite part! SumitOfficial knows it really well. Insult your friends! YEAAH! tell them they are ugly as nothing on this planet! God is taking revenge from you that he sent them in your life because once you stole a half pencil from an unknown bag! Weird pet names can help you much! and they look like Kamal R.Khan when they wear glasses. You don’t know who is he? Then I believe you are having an actual life depression.*Sympathy from me*

That’s him ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yeah. I am sorry I can’t believe I have to see this in my posts I am just kind of realizing how my life can turn to worst in a second.

• Timing. It’s the most important thing to be funnier. If you don’t have it I have to say this ‘I feel sorry for you’ :'(. I mean really, I have seen people who say their thing when the topic is over 2 hours ago.
• Copy and paste of Dialogues. If you have seen a really funny movie and you find some dialogues hilarious, why don’t use them in front of people? For example- “Are maharaj! Tumare gurde kyu chhil rahe hain?” (Hey King! Why your kidneys are getting peeled off?) It means JEALOUSY in short if you didn’t got what I tried to say. Another example- “Khopdi tod saaale ka!” (Break the skull of that bastard!).. and so on.

Being funny is not difficult! just be yourself in a quirky way and make positive vibes every where you meet anyone. Spread Love, spread peace, treat everyone equally :p (stole that line from somewhere I won’t tell). And the only rule I want you guys to follow is:-

RACISM

No one deserves this ever.

-xOx-

Hi Readers!

I hope you liked this one so please leave comments about your funny and failed-to-make-laugh stories! I would be glad.

And yes if you guys need any classes for how to insult people you can find me on Instagram as @cleveridiot.nisha97 and if you don’t believe it, ask from Sumit I mentioned his website above. Keep practicing for being weird and refuse to be a dying seal. And yeah I liked that Boiled octopus punch haha! I may try this on someone at least once in my life time! 😀 😀

And if you still don’t know who is Kamal R.Khan then please let me know I would seriously write a motivational post for you.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

10 things a girl actually wants..

There were so many great scientists who came and gone and discovered uncommon and phenomenal things which we learn and literally write about them in our exam sheets. They had different minds which imagined some unusual things. But my heart is aching just because there is no one born who could tell us about ‘What a girl really wants’. As I was thinking about this topic, I came through some points which forced me to write them here. Let’s get started.

1.DISCOUNT. Ehm ehm, so basically I am a girl and I can’t understand even myself. I mean why? Why I need discount in everything I buy and I don’t care if I buy a t-shirt that have 70% discount already and I go to shopkeeper and ask quietly if he can give me some more of discount on it. He gives a look like I have asked for his kidney! I hope he won’t do it for iPhone 7 as well.

 

2.12 AM birthday wishes. If I receive 200 wishes at 12 AM from my loved ones and only 1 friend is left to wish, I feel like hell I mean ‘Did he forgot my birthday?’, ‘Am I not important for him anymore?’,’Maybe he is sleeping.’,’But why! I won’t talk to him ever, aaughh!’.. Seriously I am that stupid.

3.Laughs. Again I am repeating this one because it is as stupid as Mr. bean! If I tell you a joke then just laugh, I said laugh! L.A.U.G.H. laaauughhh!

4.Appreciation. If I make horrible food and I know that, but I still expect that the person in front will say at least something positive about it, but literally they don’t… Another thing is if I wear a new outfit and look weird, I need some ‘You’re looking beautiful!’ kind of reviews about me. Seriously I am that idiot. Did I said that again? uhh.

5.Slim-trim comments. When I am getting fat, (Well I am already) but more fat. And I know that. but. every time I wear a new dress and it’s so-tight-I-can’t-breath I want some suggestions as same as always, GOOD! BEAUTIFUL! GOD HAS MADE YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE! maa ki aankh. (you can translate it if you want too 😉 :p)

6.Perfect Selfie. I don’t care if it will take 999999 takes to get a perfect selfie, I will still click-click-click-click-click. (Mention the amount in words in comment section).

7.Street Food Without FAT. well I don’t wanna change the taste but yeah it has to be fat free just because I want that to be. Don’t mess with me! Bhai Gol Gappe mast bane hain.

8.1 Woman Man. If you can’t stop flirting with other girls, stay away if you don’t want to change your looks! yet it’s not funny thing so. Mind it Rascala!

9.Attention. Am I getting serious now? But sometimes this thing gets really awkward I mean if I am chatting in whatsapp or any other group of people, if for a second my opinion is ignored then I want to hit everyone in their faces and shout out loud whatever I want to say. But yeah it can happen to everyone else, soo I am not alone in this universe.

10.MAKE-UP. Whyyy!! what on earth did invented this amazingly shitty thing!! I mean seriously, girls are so obsessed these days with make up that they can’t even survive without it. Absolutely I have no idea what would be the scene in 2020s about it. I just don’t understand when girls will learn to live natural….

-xOx-

Okay so I finish it here now. I hope I bring a small tiny piny smile on your gorgeous and literally without make-up faces haha! well jokes apart, I want to tell something in extra and important stuff to you.

• No matter what kind of a girl there is, the only thing she wants is CARE. We girls have sensitive hearts so we need care just like more of that I guess.
• If you know a girl who wears much make up just tell her that she is beautiful without it and there’s no need to put on it in extra amount. She will say ‘I love you’ in return trust me.
• So basically we girls need is care, that is why some show tantrums but never say what they want. Some fight, be a bitch, or whatever it is. Just be with her, tell her she is beautiful and let her chase what she wants.
• But don’t leave her alone because still, GIRLS ARE AS STUPID AS NOTHING ON THIS PLANET.

Please comment your views about it and let me know what kind of things a girl really wants. Obviously I haven’t wrote everything but some of them. Share your thoughts and give it a star if you think it’s worth it. Thank you Mr. Obama you helped me through this! 

Picture credit- Google bhaisab.

Keep Smiling-Love memes,

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

 

Unbroken.

So you left-

I am still here.

Literally numb with my thoughts,

Trying to sum up the pieces

Of me, scattered on the floor.

Trying to stand on my feet once again.

Though my brain is as heavy as ton of metals,

Still I am willing to go to that window,

with broken glasses, to see.

To see what it’s like to watch the world

With all my soul and not my eyes.

I don’t know what I am doing

I don’t know what I will do.

But, Oh Lord! give me strength

To stay alive, to live my life.

To face what comes in it’s blustering way.

And when I opened the doors of my heart

The rich and mild pieces of light-

came in my world of dreams.

I wonder if it will grow with time

I wonder if only it will stay with me forever.

I am scared yet confident

For the journey I decided to travel. 

Although silently that piece of light

is pouring some rags of hope in my heart.

YES, I am ready to live

YES, I am ready to get rid of your shits

YES, I will be that one who I want to be

YES, I will do what my heart says.

I don’t care now because I have got colored

Colored on my own, Yeah.

That’s a pure, untouched, GOLDEN.

And now I don’t need your promises anymore

Because I will be that one, strong and UNBROKEN.

-xOx-

Hi guys!

Sorry for updating this one this late! Oh God that was almost a century! hah jk. Well I hope you liked this so give it a star and don’t forget to comment your views about it. I’ll be glad! 🙂 And yeah, this whole series is dedicated to one and only one DEMI LOVATO. Love you girl! will always be a lovatic chic 😉

Thanks A lot for Reading!

.The.Clever.Idiot.

PROUD to be Yourself…

“Don’t wait until you have reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take towards reaching that goal.”

If you haven’t heard it yet, let me tell you. I’M PROUD OF YOU! For everything you have done to reach here, For every single moment where you have made yourself strong, for every night you cried and suffered through those hardest shits, for every smile you maintain to pass it to someone, and for EVERY thing that I have forgot to mention here. :p I’m sorry about that.. So, this one was my words for you by deep down my heart believe it or not. But there’s also something you should be proud of yourself.

I am going to tell you some reasons you should be proud about yourself. So tighten your seat belts and just go on and read.

1. Proud to be what and whoever you are. There are a lot of people like you on this earth who think that I don’t have a perfect body shape or I don’t like my complexion or I can’t study like other students in my class or I can’t sing or whatever is it. Remember one thing, you are far far and far better than them in the subject you love. You are that great ‘someone‘ that they can never be like even into their wildest dreams.. ~and we danced all night to the best song everrr!~..Oops I’m sorry about that. Maybe you are a musician, maybe you have prettier eyes, maybe you have the biggest heart, maybe you care for people, maybe you can write very well and maybe you listen to your heart, maybe you can eat more fries, maybe you do things behind closed doors not showing to anyone, maybe you know what most of the people don’t know. You are what they are not. Proud to be who you are. Because you are one of a kind.

2. Proud to be born this way. Let me tell you something about myself, I’m a fat girl and I know that very well. I never weigh myself because I know the results will be horrible! And the most important part, I am proud that I have a body like this. I don’t know why! But I love myself having chubby chicks. How stupid this is no?.. But it is important for me. I am what I am and if someone judges me about my body I just listen to them to make sure that they are getting importance. And when they get lost.. I forget that every single thing they have said to me. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THE NEGATIVES. Love yourself dude!

3. Don’t be proud on everything you do. It’s okay to feel proud about yourself and the stuff you do but it’s not necessary to feel it for everything. Like you beaten up someone without any reason, you passed exam with cheating, you abused animals or any person, and you bullied someone and whatever it is bad and negative. I’m saying this to you because pride comes before fall. Mind it! Yanna rascala..

4. I’m proud to be different; it’s the best thing about me. Is there anything left to say? To explain? Is it? Then let me know about it. Have you ever seen someone who is handicapped or with any disability? I don’t think there are stronger people than those who face problems every morning they wake and every night they sleep. I really LOVE those people and really, I RESPECT them with depth of my heart. Our problems are nothing if we compare them to the angels’ living in this world with their disabilities. You’ve got to learn so much from them and serve respect to those people. And you never know which deed of yours’ God loves the most.

5. YOU ARE AMAZING!. Believe it or not. It’s a truth of the day. Wait, what you said? Why am I amazing? Yeah ok let me tell you. You read this whoooooooole thing and still reading and pretending that I’ll tell you why you are amazing. You are not that stupid right. How can I know what is your passion? If you have any passion then you are AMAZING and if you don’t have any, then you’re still amazing.. I don’t know why.. just amazing..

I’m so confusing right? I know. Passions are really a gift from God to us. It’s a big thing which describes us the best way. I have my passion, you have yours. So let’s change the world with our own colors and thoughts. I know it’s a dramatic line but at least think about it. This is the right time to show what we are and I know that world is gonna accept it in a humble way. The future is waiting for you and your success will lead you to the best, you could ever have been.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

(=xoxo=)

-The Clever Idiot a.k.a Nisha

 

5 Types of Beggars in India..

Helloww Everyone! Well I’m back with another one! this blog is dedicated to our own precious and respectable beggars in India. You won’t understand what to do when these types of beggars will come to you and look direct into your eyes with most innocent face and you have to give them because of the pity you feel on them. These are the most innocent and clever types of people who will make you feel good and frighten at the same time. Fear for what? I’ll tell you.

So here we are to discuss about some types of beggars in India. Tighten your seat belts please!

1. The Puppy Face.

Oi Oi! aammm.. Sorry about that :p This type of beggars will come to you, look at you in the face with ‘that’ puppy face and asks you if you could give some money. You’ll give a 10 Rs. note to them and they will be like ,”I asked for 50 Rs.”They’ll say in the tone of ‘give it or take it, I don’t want your chillars (Coins)’. You will stand still there thinking about what the heck just happened here and he will leave you their with your money you tried to donate. Did he just insulted you? I mean he refused to take 10 rs.? I mean you can buy two chocolates of 5 stars in 10 rs., you can have tea with a packet of biscuits in 10 rs., you can buy a packet of Lays in 10 rs., you can even have a swiss roll in 10 rs.! My God….

2. The Extreme Stubborn Kids

I have a story to tell now. In 2015, it was our school picnic and me and my friends were roaming in the garden of India gate in a beautiful weather. Suddenly couple of kids came and asked us for some money or food. I took out a packet of biscuits from my bag and gave them. I felt good and they left. I followed my eyes in whichever direction they were going. They went to some other kids and hid that packet in a plastic bag and what I saw that it was full of packets of biscuits, chips etc. They were collecting the stuff God knows why. I ignored it and we all sat under a tree and took out our lunch boxes and the beautiful smell of food were increasing the urge to eat the whole meal. After 2 minutes a couple of other kids of the same gang came and asked for the packets of biscuits. My friend asked if they could take a plate of biryani. They refused and again demanded the same thing. We said we are out of them you can take a plate of biryani or just go. They started misbehaving and saying unnecessary things. One of the girl shouted at them and they left.

I mean if you have any self respect and you love your life then just give them what they want. You can find them on traffic signals, monument places, parks and markets. Almost everywhere in India. God save the people who face this type of people daily. I wish them good luck.

3. The Well-Wishers (Umm Probably).

These are mostly the woman beggars. These beggars are like the age of your Grand mothers and they won’t ask you to give money, they will praise you with an innocent face and if you give them money you’ll be more praised. If you don’t have anything to give their wishes will become negatives. If you want your future to be good then you have to give them what they want. So if you find this types of Amma anywhere just go and give some money otherwise get ready for the bad wishes for yourself.

4. Rickshaw Puller with a Patient.

“Can you see this person lying on this cart who is really compelled and helpless. He has a very huge disease which needs more and more money to live his life. Just look at this person and if you have a heart then donate some money to him……” the loud speaker placed behind the patient has a recording of these type of dialogues to make you feel more pity on them. They seems so annoying and loud that you should literally stop talking because your partner can’t listen what you are trying to say. And the most important part, the patient will lay there and just sleep without any worry what is going on in the world and that rickshaw puller will just drag the cart here and there even in the worst summer of Delhi. God knows why their heads don’t burst by listening to that loud recorded voice of a person.

5. The Miraculous Baba with super powers!

You can find them on Temples, Dargah, under a Banyan tree and I don’t know where ever they want to sit. In front of temples they will dress an orange gown and orange turban with a necklace of beads which are called as Rudraksh. They will tell you the future, your jobs opportunities, your marriage future, your AIPMT result scorings etc. etc. He knows better than God and that is why you have to pay them in thousands and hundreds. In front of Dargah or Mosques, they will dress in a green gown with black turban and a bunch of peocock feathers to brush away all the sins you have done just by doing some strokes of it on your head. They are one of the loudest beggars because they will shout and scream the praising words and call you near and give them whatever you have. You have to pay them same as the aboves. You cannot refuse to give them money otherwise they will curse you!

Oh My god! yeh mera India. I don’t think there are any other country where we find these types of beggars but I think Pakistan could be the same as India. I seriously don’t give money to every beggar on my way but if I have some extra thing I will give no matter how many thousands he have stored in his bag or any other place. I am not saying do not give and donate. Please donate as much as you can because there are hundreds of people waiting just for your help! You don’t know how much difficult is to live without food all day long. If you would ask me to do it, I would donate to the NGOs and organisations who help slum people and help their children for education.

I wish I made it make you understand things I wanted to say.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

I was wrong..

I was wrong..

When I used to think you loved me too..

I was wrong..

When I waited for you the whole day long..

I was wrong..

When I dreamed of you smiling at me..

I was wrong..

Every time I pretended that you will always be with me..

I was wrong..

When I thought you will be different..

I was wrong..

When I missed you like hell and wasted my tears on you..

I was wrong.. every time..

But now I am strong enough..

I know,

You will miss me one day and regret..

You left me behind..

You were wrong..  

With Love, from Nisha..

Today! I am gonna show you what I would do if you let me live in the freedom. Today, I’m gonna show the original me. Today, I am gonna show you what is my passion and what I love the most.

Okay enough of filmy lines now kaam ki baat (thing of use), I have drew a thing on my wall and I have already told this about to Mr. A-jazz :p. Well, It’s a small tribute to Zayn Malik. I am a HUGE fan of One Direction and as Zayn has left the band (which was really hard for me to accept :/) and he made his new album “Mind of Mine” and I am really really proud of him!. Here’s the picture from my wall-

 The picture quality isn’t that good because of my phone (Pff! :p). I am feeling so good by looking at it and I don’t know why! I look so stupid while looking at it. But I want to tell you guys that whatever he is doing I am so proud of Zayn Malik and honestly I can’t choose anyone of them (Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne). I have also written a song’s lyrics for them of ‘Story of my Life’ on my wall. It was one of the songs where they all five boys were together in the video. You might feel bored while reading this if you don’t know them. But you know the teenage love life seems so deep and stupid.

Here’s the previous one I have made about 2 months ago I guess!

Again the picture quality sucks. ahh well!

This one’s for my life, I mean for the band. I hope you guys would like to comment for the pics!

With Love,

For One Direction,

From Nisha

Thanks for visiting 🙂

 

Do not judge me..

Hello Readers,

Actually it’s not a proper post but I have to say something. Since I have been here I have made some friends which have a really special place in my life and my account. If any one of you does not want to talk to me just let me know because I really don’t like it if a person leaves me like I wasn’t ever your friend. Give me the reason of why you don’t want to talk to me and you can go if I think it’s the proper reason to do so.

I don’t like leaving people without any reason. I am what I am and I am not going to change myself for any one, instead of my father. So, if you want to be my friend, you have to accept me in the exact way I am.

Thank you!

Cleveridiot a.k.a Nisha

When a woman will become a President of our country!..

It gives goose bumps even at a thought about it, isn’t it? Girls are one of the most confusing things God has ever created. They will never understand even their selves. Today my best friend visited my house and she was upset about something. I got tired of consulting her that the problems never stay forever in our lives, they comes and goes. But NO! she cried, she laughed, she ate a full plate of fried rice, she cried, she confused me, she made my brain useless, she cried, she drank a glass of soft drink with me, she got up to go, she talked, she shared again, she asked me to say something encouraging, I explained everything, she talked, at last she left. Uff! girls are so complicated.

Here I am with few reasons of what happen “When a woman will become a President of our Country”. I can’t be like that, but maybe sometimes I become this type of girl, I don’t know if I have been this person to someone. Okay so let’s stick to the topic, I have a lot to do.

Rules of Attire

• The new rule for all the brands of country! that no company will make more than two copies of a dress because it is so painful to see girl wearing a same dress like me in a function, college or school.
• Both the copies are shipped on the opposite sides of the world.
• All the shops, bring the stuff which I want to buy and not the stuff you want to sell. Because I don’t like to roam in the whole market to search for it.

Rules for Display Pictures

• Do not judge me if I have uploaded a pic of my earlobe. It’s a part of my body and I have the right to update it as my DP (display picture).
• If I have bought a new mascara, I can upload a picture of it when I applied it first time.
• I have an Apple iphone 6 and a bunch of cosmetics so I can click their pic together and update it with an attitude status.
• Make horrible faces while taking a selfie, I can’t even survive on this planet without a pout.

Rules for Jokes

• Do not make fun of our intelligence (really?).
• You have to laugh if I tell you a joke because it is really important for my ‘self-respect quotient’.

Rules in School/College

• Only me and my best friend will sit on the first bench because I have a crush on my maths teacher.
• Kill that b**** because she looked at my boyfriend with a smile.
• There should be a notice board for girls where we could paste our favorite bands posters! (I would cover it from One Direction’s).
• Tell me the answer if I asked you in a serious test otherwise you will be the most infamous person in the school. (GOSSIPS!)

Rules for Shopping

• If you want to open a shop, you have to make it big and include more and more varieties to it so that we can buy each one of them.
• You want to be my boyfriend? First agree that you will pick up the hundreds of shopping bags every week ( I think ‘spending a lot of money on shit would be first thing to be accepted!)
• You should be ready for bargaining only for girls.

Rules for being a Boyfriend/Husband

• You should be ready to handle the melodrama coming to your life.
• The screamingly insane cries for no reason.
• The quite-a-depressed life you will face in future.
• Spend a lot of money.
• Try to understand the thing which I am not talking about.
• Confusion like hell about if you’re alive or not.
• Try to know the difference between colors (like blood red and rosy red)
• Come on time and still says sorry for being 2 seconds late.

There could be hundreds of things which can be written here. But, seriously don’t you guys think if a teenage girl or 20+ woman will get a chance to be a president, will these amazingly shitty things happen to our country?

Some girls are stupid and they will never know about it. I don’t like girls with tantrums and all the Adaayein (I don’t know the word for Adaa). If you guys agree with me then please comment your beautiful words below and if you think I have missed some thing then please share your thoughts it would be a pleasure!

Thank you for reading!