It was me.. Dead.

It was 2 AM at night I still was scrolling on my feed like it is involved in my daily routine. Nothing interesting was their at all so I put my phone back beside my pillow and stared at the blank wall. I kept thinking about my mistakes and future stuff like everyone do. 10 minutes later I was yawning like a goat so I  closed my eyes and decided to wait for sleep to come.

Few seconds later I saw myself in a place which was all deep white and nothing was there, not even my shadow. I walked in some direction I don’t know and kept walking expecting some results of this benumbed white atmosphere. “Hellooo..” I called for someone to hear me but it was the same. I was in my bedroom a minute ago but where the hell am I now? How would I get back? I was worried and scared and nothing was running through my mind until I saw someone whispering for help.

That person was some meters away from me. She was laying and the blood was flowing from her body continuously. I was nervous and scared after watching her in that condition. I stepped towards her almost dead body but still she was calling for help. I looked around expecting some other normal person like me but there wasn’t anyone. My feet were like shivering because I haven’t saw anyone like this before.

As I reached to her, my soul was thrilled…

There wasn’t any cloth on her body, her scars, her blood and dark blemishes covered her..

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

For a moment I didn’t understood what was going on. I ran away from that girl exactly like me but again I saw her in my way. I looked back at the previous one but it wasn’t there.

I screamed for help and again there wasn’t anyone to hear me. That girl called me again but I didn’t went close to her. I was so scared that I started crying. But for my surprise my tears weren’t coming from my eyes. I cried for help but no one replied. There was me and her in that deathlike world, completely white just like fog in the chilliest winter and not cold at all.

She stopped calling, the bleeding stopped.. No movement, nothing in response.

I prepared myself and went closer a bit to see what happened. Her body was burned badly and nothing was wrong with her face, I mean my face.. I touched her forehead and saw her bruised body. It was like she has been cursed so badly. Hundreds of thoughts were running through my mind. Her eyes were open and all deep black. I took my stole and covered her from it because the bruises were so bad I couldn’t even see them. I was crying and scared and wasn’t able to do anything for her (for myself..) My whole body turned pale and weaker.

Nothing changed, I was alone a moment before but I felt more alone now. When I saw a part of me died in front of me. I didn’t listened to me. I didn’t helped me.

It was me.. laying there.. so weakened and still..

It was me.. Dead.

In the world of heavenly white, cursed with netherworld’s sinned bruises.

-xOx-

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10 things a girl actually wants..

There were so many great scientists who came and gone and discovered uncommon and phenomenal things which we learn and literally write about them in our exam sheets. They had different minds which imagined some unusual things. But my heart is aching just because there is no one born who could tell us about ‘What a girl really wants’. As I was thinking about this topic, I came through some points which forced me to write them here. Let’s get started.

1.DISCOUNT. Ehm ehm, so basically I am a girl and I can’t understand even myself. I mean why? Why I need discount in everything I buy and I don’t care if I buy a t-shirt that have 70% discount already and I go to shopkeeper and ask quietly if he can give me some more of discount on it. He gives a look like I have asked for his kidney! I hope he won’t do it for iPhone 7 as well.

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2.12 AM birthday wishes. If I receive 200 wishes at 12 AM from my loved ones and only 1 friend is left to wish, I feel like hell I mean ‘Did he forgot my birthday?’, ‘Am I not important for him anymore?’,’Maybe he is sleeping.’,’But why! I won’t talk to him ever, aaughh!’.. Seriously I am that stupid.

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3.Laughs. Again I am repeating this one because it is as stupid as Mr. bean! If I tell you a joke then just laugh, I said laugh! L.A.U.G.H. laaauughhh!

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4.Appreciation. If I make horrible food and I know that, but I still expect that the person in front will say at least something positive about it, but literally they don’t… Another thing is if I wear a new outfit and look weird, I need some ‘You’re looking beautiful!’ kind of reviews about me. Seriously I am that idiot. Did I said that again? uhh.

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5.Slim-trim comments. When I am getting fat, (Well I am already) but more fat. And I know that. but. every time I wear a new dress and it’s so-tight-I-can’t-breath I want some suggestions as same as always, GOOD! BEAUTIFUL! GOD HAS MADE YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE! maa ki aankh. (you can translate it if you want too 😉 :p)

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6.Perfect Selfie. I don’t care if it will take 999999 takes to get a perfect selfie, I will still click-click-click-click-click. (Mention the amount in words in comment section).

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7.Street Food Without FAT. well I don’t wanna change the taste but yeah it has to be fat free just because I want that to be. Don’t mess with me! Bhai Gol Gappe mast bane hain.

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8.1 Woman Man. If you can’t stop flirting with other girls, stay away if you don’t want to change your looks! yet it’s not funny thing so. Mind it Rascala!

9.Attention. Am I getting serious now? But sometimes this thing gets really awkward I mean if I am chatting in whatsapp or any other group of people, if for a second my opinion is ignored then I want to hit everyone in their faces and shout out loud whatever I want to say. But yeah it can happen to everyone else, soo I am not alone in this universe.

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10.MAKE-UP. Whyyy!! what on earth did invented this amazingly shitty thing!! I mean seriously, girls are so obsessed these days with make up that they can’t even survive without it. Absolutely I have no idea what would be the scene in 2020s about it. I just don’t understand when girls will learn to live natural….

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-xOx-

Okay so I finish it here now. I hope I bring a small tiny piny smile on your gorgeous and literally without make-up faces haha! well jokes apart, I want to tell something in extra and important stuff to you.

  • No matter what kind of a girl there is, the only thing she wants is CARE. We girls have sensitive hearts so we need care just like more of that I guess.
  • If you know a girl who wears much make up just tell her that she is beautiful without it and there’s no need to put on it in extra amount. She will say ‘I love you’ in return trust me.
  • So basically we girls need is care, that is why some show tantrums but never say what they want. Some fight, be a bitch, or whatever it is. Just be with her, tell her she is beautiful and let her chase what she wants.
  • But don’t leave her alone because still, GIRLS ARE AS STUPID AS NOTHING ON THIS PLANET.

Please comment your views about it and let me know what kind of things a girl really wants. Obviously I haven’t wrote everything but some of them. Share your thoughts and give it a star if you think it’s worth it. Thank you Mr. Obama you helped me through this! 

Picture credit- Google bhaisab.

Keep Smiling-Love memes,

-.The.Clever.Idiot.

 

PROUD to be Yourself…

“Don’t wait until you have reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take towards reaching that goal.”

If you haven’t heard it yet, let me tell you. I’M PROUD OF YOU! For everything you have done to reach here, For every single moment where you have made yourself strong, for every night you cried and suffered through those hardest shits, for every smile you maintain to pass it to someone, and for EVERY thing that I have forgot to mention here. :p I’m sorry about that.. So, this one was my words for you by deep down my heart believe it or not. But there’s also something you should be proud of yourself.

I am going to tell you some reasons you should be proud about yourself. So tighten your seat belts and just go on and read.

1. Proud to be what and whoever you are. There are a lot of people like you on this earth who think that I don’t have a perfect body shape or I don’t like my complexion or I can’t study like other students in my class or I can’t sing or whatever is it. Remember one thing, you are far far and far better than them in the subject you love. You are that great ‘someone‘ that they can never be like even into their wildest dreams.. ~and we danced all night to the best song everrr!~..Oops I’m sorry about that. Maybe you are a musician, maybe you have prettier eyes, maybe you have the biggest heart, maybe you care for people, maybe you can write very well and maybe you listen to your heart, maybe you can eat more fries, maybe you do things behind closed doors not showing to anyone, maybe you know what most of the people don’t know. You are what they are not. Proud to be who you are. Because you are one of a kind.

2. Proud to be born this way. Let me tell you something about myself, I’m a fat girl and I know that very well. I never weigh myself because I know the results will be horrible! And the most important part, I am proud that I have a body like this. I don’t know why! But I love myself having chubby chicks. How stupid this is no?.. But it is important for me. I am what I am and if someone judges me about my body I just listen to them to make sure that they are getting importance. And when they get lost.. I forget that every single thing they have said to me. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THE NEGATIVES. Love yourself dude!

3. Don’t be proud on everything you do. It’s okay to feel proud about yourself and the stuff you do but it’s not necessary to feel it for everything. Like you beaten up someone without any reason, you passed exam with cheating, you abused animals or any person, and you bullied someone and whatever it is bad and negative. I’m saying this to you because pride comes before fall. Mind it! Yanna rascala..

4. I’m proud to be different; it’s the best thing about me. Is there anything left to say? To explain? Is it? Then let me know about it. Have you ever seen someone who is handicapped or with any disability? I don’t think there are stronger people than those who face problems every morning they wake and every night they sleep. I really LOVE those people and really, I RESPECT them with depth of my heart. Our problems are nothing if we compare them to the angels’ living in this world with their disabilities. You’ve got to learn so much from them and serve respect to those people. And you never know which deed of yours’ God loves the most.

5. YOU ARE AMAZING!. Believe it or not. It’s a truth of the day. Wait, what you said? Why am I amazing? Yeah ok let me tell you. You read this whoooooooole thing and still reading and pretending that I’ll tell you why you are amazing. You are not that stupid right. How can I know what is your passion? If you have any passion then you are AMAZING and if you don’t have any, then you’re still amazing.. I don’t know why.. just amazing..

I’m so confusing right? I know. Passions are really a gift from God to us. It’s a big thing which describes us the best way. I have my passion, you have yours. So let’s change the world with our own colors and thoughts. I know it’s a dramatic line but at least think about it. This is the right time to show what we are and I know that world is gonna accept it in a humble way. The future is waiting for you and your success will lead you to the best, you could ever have been.

Thanks A lot for Reading!

(=xoxo=)

-The Clever Idiot a.k.a Nisha

 

I was wrong..

I was wrong..

When I used to think you loved me too..

I was wrong..

When I waited for you the whole day long..

I was wrong..

When I dreamed of you smiling at me..

I was wrong..

Every time I pretended that you will always be with me..

I was wrong..

When I thought you will be different..

I was wrong..

When I missed you like hell and wasted my tears on you..

I was wrong.. every time..

But now I am strong enough..

I know,

You will miss me one day and regret..

You left me behind..

You were wrong..  

With Love, from Nisha..

Today! I am gonna show you what I would do if you let me live in the freedom. Today, I’m gonna show the original me. Today, I am gonna show you what is my passion and what I love the most.

Okay enough of filmy lines now kaam ki baat (thing of use), I have drew a thing on my wall and I have already told this about to Mr. A-jazz :p. Well, It’s a small tribute to Zayn Malik. I am a HUGE fan of One Direction and as Zayn has left the band (which was really hard for me to accept :/) and he made his new album “Mind of Mine” and I am really really proud of him!. Here’s the picture from my wall-

mind of mine.jpg The picture quality isn’t that good because of my phone (Pff! :p). I am feeling so good by looking at it and I don’t know why! I look so stupid while looking at it. But I want to tell you guys that whatever he is doing I am so proud of Zayn Malik and honestly I can’t choose anyone of them (Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne). I have also written a song’s lyrics for them of ‘Story of my Life’ on my wall. It was one of the songs where they all five boys were together in the video. You might feel bored while reading this if you don’t know them. But you know the teenage love life seems so deep and stupid.

Here’s the previous one I have made about 2 months ago I guess!

somlAgain the picture quality sucks. ahh well!

This one’s for my life, I mean for the band. I hope you guys would like to comment for the pics!

With Love,

For One Direction,

From Nisha

Thanks for visiting 🙂

 

Maybe I’m Insane..

Maybe I’m insane, maybe I’m senseless, maybe my heart beat was never alive, maybe I was meant to be this, maybe I was born to be forgotten, maybe my life would never be in a way that I wanted, maybe there will be no future of mine, maybe.. maybe..

These things were running in my mind as I sat alone in my room staring at the wall in dim lights. The weather was a bit cold those days which felt a bit good. I was thinking about myself like why am I here? what else sorrow is there left to enter my life? How many complications are there left to come? etc. I am the type of person who advises every body to be strong, to believe in yourselves, to keep smiling, to never give up ever in their lives. But, hardly any one know that I am the same kind of a girl like them. I cry at late nights, I manage to give a fake smile, I laugh a lot, I dance alone or even in front of my friends or family, I sing loudly to feel better as it works like screaming out loud, I cry behind the doors, I try to harm myself (but never succeeded). I have lots of problems but I don’t know if you have more and complicated problems than me. It’s possible because we all don’t know each other’s lives. Every single person around you have a different life and different problems no matter how hard or easy they are to handle.

My eyes were wet and tears were running continuously but I hadn’t made any sound or cried. You know that crying? It’s the most broken cry and the harsh one you could ever have. The silence is the loudest scream we girls have and I don’t know if guys have it too, maybe we girls are Insane. I don’t know but hardly a person could understand what is going through a girl’s mind. Girls don’t show their feelings but you can easily see it just by looking in their eyes. The eyes of a girl never lies, it all says the truth. I am really good at hiding my feelings but somehow my loved one will knew from my voice tone that I’m upset or had a bad time somewhere.

A man will never want to say his feelings to anyone. They just don’t want to share their thoughts with anyone unless there’s someone beside them who they love a lot. They share their feelings who is always first from all the things present in their life. And you know that there’s always a woman who stays in one’s life to make it heaven or hell. It depends on that woman’s mind, heart and soul to make it better or even worse.

As I was crying for a lot of reasons, I was really angry about myself and the things present in it. It was really tough night for me that I can’t sleep. I went to bathroom and splashed water on my whole body and came back to the bed. I increased the speed of the fan that made me feel shivers from cold. I lay on my bed and just didn’t moved, but I was feeling really cold that at a moment I wished to die because it was painful, yeah! maybe I’m insane. My body became pale and cold and seeing that was kind of different feeling for me, I mean I smiled looking at my hands which pale. I repeated this a couple of times more because it was making me feel good at the same time. It was freezing, hurting, painful, shivering experience for me. It’s really weird right? as I have told you, maybe I’m insane.

It’s funny how we find ways to feel pain on our body instead of our heart. Don’t you think? I know problems really matter, they are really harsh and rigid, they’ll never leave us alone. But think! There is nothing more important than you, I should say this to me also. Just try not to complain about your problems to God. He made us for a reason and you know that one day there will be a day, after which there will be no tomorrow. Maybe I’m insane, I don’t have any right to say because I’m also into this, but I have to say this that please do not try to harm yourself. This will never give you any climax. Just trust me I’m sure you won’t be disappointed by the results.

One thing I want to say about myself, do not judge me about my existence. I mean if I have said that I the person who tries to harm herself, I believe in the words which are ‘Never give up, as there’s a lot to come, but there’s always a morning after a stormy night’.

Guys! please give me suggestion for how to control my mind. I’m really going insane. Just help me overcome that if you care about someone’s future life. 😉

Shadows, My Shadows..

Shadows, My shadows..

Thank you for being here, with me..

Shadows, My shadows..

Thank you for being there, when I was all alone..

Thank you for wasting your time on me..

Shadows, My shadows..

The more light came, the stronger you became..

The weaker I went, the deeper you became..

Shadows, My shadows..

Well you know, I’ve faced a lot with you..

You know the pain, you know the truth..

Shadows, My shadows..

But where were you? when it all went dark..

When there was no sign of light..

When there was only me, left behind..

Shadows, My shadows..

Where were you? When I was screaming..

In fears of dark, in fears of life..

Shadows, My shadows..

You looks so still, so pure, so mysterious..

Sometimes I think you’re just an illusion..

Illusion of image of something divine..

Or I can say ‘the dark version of mine’..

Shadows, My shadows..

Thank you for being here, with me..

Shadows, My shadows..!

–xOx–